Day 16 Family Support

[orffgirl]

It certainly is great to have family support when you have TMS. My younger daughter is going through the SEP as well so we are supporting each other. We have known about TMS for years but only recently discovered this website. It is helping us to deal with TMS one and for all (we hope). My older daughter is superficially supportive but suffers from an auto-immune condition that I can't help but feel is related in some way to TMS. My husband knows about the theory of TMS but does not really buy into it. Too bad because he has asthma and over the years has suffered from a long list of TMS symptoms - plantar fasciitis, shoulder pain, tennis elbow, back pain -you name it. He thinks everything can be solved by taking a pill or having physio. Over the years I have told many people about TMS theory and even loaned my Sarno books to some. No one has ever taken it seriously. It's been a bit discouraging but I have never lost faith. This online community is a wonderful support.

 

[Eve]

Hi Orffgirl

I can relate to what you are saying. I can most definetely understand that it's important to have family or friends supporting you on the TMS theory. My mother has a lot of TMS symptoms, my boyfriend has severe CFS together with an auto-immune ilness of which I also firmly believe that the CFS is now a symptom imperative because the auto-immune disease is under control, but he doesn't believe it. He's focusing on his diet now and believes that that is causing his fatigue... My father in low has severe cfs and my best friend also has cfs but not so limiting for the moment. They all have had serious stressors in their life, but it seems that they don't want to acknowledge their impact on their healh.. They all know about TMS because I told them, but none of them is doing something about it. Hard for me to understand... I used to try to convince people, but that only made me angry and upset because they wouldn't listen.. I have stopped doing this and it makes me feel less upset towards myself. I see this as my own private journey right now. They have their own path, but it's hard to see your partner and family suffer for no reason and then shut your mouth about it.. But I do hope ofcourse, that once I am healed that my boyfriend will be open to follow this as well ... I hope you and your daughter will feel better soon and that your husband may see the light as well in time.

 

[orffgirl]

Eve,Thanks for your reply!! I forgot to also add that my 92 yr old mother has acute TMS - shoulder pain that rules her life. She also used to have bladder leakage at night but that cleared up when her shoulder pain got worse. She and her husband moved out of their home and into a seniors' residence 2 years ago and she still misses her house. I know she resents her restricted freedom even though she admits the move was the right thing to do. I know her pain is TMS but sadly she cannot see it. I tried to get her talking about past events and hurts when I visited her recently and that resulted in her pain being worse so I backed off. It's so sad. My daughter and I have talked about this so at least I can vent to someone about it! It's so frustrating when we feel we have the answers to help people out of their misery but they are so closed off. My sister also suffers from back pain and is quite content to be trapped by it rather than investigate TMS. Reminds me of the 20/20 video with John Stossell where his own brother, a doctor, isn't open to TMS even though it cured John.

Good luck Eve - you are right that everyone has to follow their own path. It's a good thing to remember. Recovering from TMS is hard work and you have to be willing to do that work. No one can do it for you and some people just want a magic pill, or injection, etc. Some people are even happy to use their bad back, or whatever it is, as an excuse (e.g. my sister).

 

[Eve]

I only know one person doing TMS because we supported eachother on the gupta program for 2 years and we found the TMS theory on the same date as well, so we are following the same path and it's an amazing thing for me to be able to share this with somebody else who is in the same boat as I am. Normally I'm more the kind of girl that feels I can always do it on my own and don't need any help or support, but I find this journey to be sometimes extremely lonely and desperate, that's why I am now participating in the forums from today on.
Believe me, I almost lost my relationship because I wanted to push these healing methods onto somebody else, but as long as they are not open to it, it will never happen.. the problem is that they must believe in it.. Also, I know that I'm going to heal - the only question is when - and only then my story will be valid enough for my peers to follow I guess... We cannot make the blind see, unfortenately... I always wanted to help people, but now I have changed this sentence into "i'm only helping people who want to be helped".. makes a huge difference and I'm saving my energy for myself!Good luck!

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

I haven't had much success in telling people that TMS may be causing their pain. It's just too foreign to them. They prefer to believe doctors and X-rays and MRIs. But most doctors were trained to give out pills and recommend surgery. They got very little education about the Mindbody connection.
Thank heaven, Dr. Sarno and his followers, like those running this web site, are helping spread the TMS word. It healed me of severe back pain.
The SEP was a big help in me discovering my childhood repressions.

Eve is right, save your energy for yourself. Wanting to get people to believe in TMS is part of your "goodist" personality and nature. You don;t have to stop trying to help people, or having them like you. Just don't expect so much of them, or yourself.

 

[orffgirl]

Oh thanks Walt that was a really good insight that wanting to help other people who clearly have TMS is part of a "goodist" personality! Up to now I hadn't considered myself to be on that category. Time to re-think…..