So today I decided to straighten up just part of the garage before winter sets in (Ohio). And so I was sweeping and moving only light weight items. Of course my back was already hurting before I did this but then it started to lock up and hurt more. I kept going until I was satisfied with my progress. I dont know if this pain has as much to do with cleaning the garage as it does with the fears that I am trying to deal with. At age 68, I now think about my own mortality a lot more than I ever did. I woke up this am thinking about it and my sister and brother-in-law (both 71) and wondering what is in store for us and when ...who will go first, second and then last. It's quite morbid and no way to live your life since none of us has any control over it. This is a frequent scenario for me. Add to that my own retirement is not going as planned with one medical problem after another and financial distress. I was afraid going into retirement that I wouldnt have enough money- and sure enough, I havent been able to work part-time for 1.5 yr due to med problems. This is why I am in so much pain and trying to learn to turn away from the fear. I would be interested in how others manage that mortality stuff. What a journey this TMS is. Thanks for listening.