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Faced biggest buried emotions head on...pain did not improve

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by WantToBelieve, Nov 29, 2016.

  1. WantToBelieve

    WantToBelieve Peer Supporter

    My TMS doctor and I have discussed my childhood in great length and have come to the conclusion that it may or may not play into my pain. But, after working on my pain with TMS for over 2 years, I ended up facing my biggest buried emotions head on. I met with my father and read him a letter describing all the fear, anger and resentment I had do to things he had done in my childhood. I had hoped that this would be the last piece of the puzzle. I didn't meet with him for this reason, but I had hoped it would be the icing on the cake. Anyway, I just posted another post about a huge recent success (walking and standing at Disney world for 3 days with minimal pain). Between that success and facing my buried emotions, I was hoping my pain would finally be completely gone. I tell myself there is no reason to feel this pain anymore b/c I've felt the emotions now and I've expressed them to the source. But I see no improvement and in fact, the pain is even somewhat more on some days. I know I shouldn't try to gauge it or put a timeline on healing, but...

    Is it possible that you can always stay at 80% healed?
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  2. Susan1111

    Susan1111 Well known member

    Congrats on 80% and facing your dragons...I've wondered the same is there 100% and I've been told yes there is. I've recently started the Zero Pain Now method by Adam Heller, I'm committed to 100%. I bet you can too!

    I will be curious what others say!
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  3. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    It is possible to stay at 80% if you keep worrying about the outcome. Or if you give up, so don't give up. Stop your fear of the pain. Be outcome independent. It will still take time for your mind and body to recondition.
    I still had some pain every once in a while after two years but by then I knew I was healed, I was outcome independent. No fear.
    You will reach 100%. You have to stop the fear, the searching, and the dependence.
    The searching is where you went and stood for three days. That's good, but you gaged it. You wondered would the pain come back and it did.
    Stop everything above and you will heal. No need to keep digging either, if your at 80% you got this. Just stop trying to fix what ain't broke.
    Bless you.
     
  4. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    I agree, this is a wonderful book. I read them all, almost all. Good to see you Susan. Bless you
     
  5. WantToBelieve

    WantToBelieve Peer Supporter

    I can honestly say I have no fear anymore. I've put it in God's hands and I do not fear the pain at all. For me, the pain is gone instantly when I sit down so I've realized there really is nothing to fear b/c I can be pain free as soon as I sit. I do not alter my day or activities for the pain anymore either. I workout, do stair climber, walk on average over 10,000 steps every day, I stand at parties (even if it's hurting), I stand when I cook (I used to sit down). I don't actively gauge my pain on a daily basis, but Iguess with Disney I did because I havent' done anything that would have historically been insanely painful for me, in many years. I didn't intend to gauge it, but it was just normal to gauge it because it was such new territory for me. I was not fearful though b/c we new we'd have fun no matter what and if I had to get a wheelchair we would. We knew we would make it work, no matter what. Mayb it will just take more and more time?
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  6. Susan1111

    Susan1111 Well known member

    Thank you.
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  7. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    You have faith you will heal. That's it. If no fear, then time will heal dear. Just remember, no anxiety about standing ok. Bless you
     
  8. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi WantToBelieve,
    I love the responses on this thread. It is hard not to judge and compare progress. If you can, observe your tendency to worry, or compare, and see how this habit may contribute to your symptoms, by inquiring into how your Inner Child feels about this activity. Not to stop the habit, but to appreciate its possible impacts. We all have a hard time changing the way we think. Dr. Sarno said this was not needed. We just have to see how our thinking/feeling patterns continue the Syndrome, and it will undo itself. I encourage your clarity and patience!
    Andy B
     
  9. Pia

    Pia Peer Supporter

    I agree! My psychologist asked me to say "yes" to my shoulder pain in a session after a tough therapeutic intervention. I did, and the pain sort of spread to my arm, my neck, up my head and down my back and then it transformed into a feeling of being warm and comforted - this was physically. Then he asked me to say "no". I didn't want to do it, but I did, and all the sensations swept back into my shoulder and I felt like a sharp needle was stinging into my shoulder joint and it hurt - a lot. Then back to "yes" and the pain spread again and transformed into warmth.
    This totally persuaded me because it was a physical experience. Every time I feel a pain now, I say "yes". I don't even think about it, I just do it.
     
  10. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Pia, that's quite a TMS metamorphosis experience! It demonstrates how quickly the mind can create and then un-create TMS symptoms. Your psychologist sounds quite enlightened, is he a TMS trained psychologist? Would you recommend him to others? Are you seeing him in person or by skype?

    Thanks,
    tt
     
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  11. Pia

    Pia Peer Supporter

    I don't know if my psychologist is a trained TMS pychologist, but he introduced to it and he offers TMS therapy, so I guess so... I have been seeing him for over a year because of depression and he recently introduced me to TMS. I live in Denmark (Northern Europe) and psychologists usually have a broad range of methods. I guess most of you are not from Denmark ;) - but if any Danes should read this, his name is Torben Palmer and he is situated in Silkeborg. I'm seeing him in person and I don't know if he offers skype consultations.
     
  12. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    WOW Pia! Sounds like you got lucky, TMS practitioners are a rarity on the planet and not many in Europe. People are always asking for them here. Do you think he would like to be added to the "PRACTITIONER DIRECTORY" here? Does he have a TMS friendly physician he works with?

    We may not all be from Denmark, but we all love frikadeller, (or should). Torben Ulrich, the famous tennis player, amongst other talents, lives not far away from me, and his son Lars, who also plays tennis, is the drummer for Metallica.




    upload_2016-12-1_8-16-19.jpeg upload_2016-12-1_8-16-19.jpeg upload_2016-12-1_8-16-19.jpeg
    Torben Ulrich
    Writer
    torbenulrich.com
    Torben Ulrich is a Danish writer, musician, filmmaker, painter, director, performer and former professional tennis player.Wikipedia

    Born: October 4, 1928 (age 88), Frederiksberg, Denmark
    Height: 5′ 11″
    Parents: Ulla Meyer
    Movies: Motion Picture
    Children: Lars Ulrich
    Books: Cymbals of silence, notes of unknowing
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2016
    Eric "Herbie" Watson and Emilsen like this.
  13. Pia

    Pia Peer Supporter

    Ahh, tt, you know of our small beautiful country :D - frikadeller and the Ulrich's! That's fab! Though I'm a vegetarian and do not do frikadeller ;)
    I'll ask my psychologist if he will join the list and if he knows some other therapists around Europe who may be interested!
    :)
     
    Tennis Tom likes this.
  14. Emilsen

    Emilsen New Member

    TT, You forgot Caroline Wozniacki! ;)
     
  15. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Me bad! Thanks for reminding me:

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]


    Caroline Wozniacki
    Tennis player
    Caroline Wozniacki is a Danish professional tennis player. She is a former world No. 1 on the WTA Tour, having held this position for 67 weeks. She was the first woman from a Scandinavian country to hold the top ranking position and 20th overall. Wikipedia

    Born: July 11, 1990 (age 26), Odense, Denmark
    Height: 5′ 10″
    Weight: 128 lbs
    Nationality: Danish
    Parents: Piotr Wozniacki, Anna Wozniacki
    Siblings: Patrik Wozniacki

     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2016
    Emilsen likes this.
  16. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    For those who may not be familiar with the delectable Danish delicacy, the frikadeller here is a pic:


    [​IMG]
    They are yummy, I'll be having some tomorrow night at a Christmas party.
     
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  17. Emilsen

    Emilsen New Member

    God appetit Tom! ;)
     
    Pia likes this.
  18. ladyofthelake

    ladyofthelake Peer Supporter

    Yes, this exactly was what worked for me.
     
  19. donavanf

    donavanf Well known member

    Pia, could you elaborate on this? I've spent years saying no, and getting nowhere. Yes to pain is blowing my mind. And feels RIGHT.
     
  20. Pia

    Pia Peer Supporter

    My psychologist explained to me that emotions and feelings are like waves in the sea - they come, they peak, they subside. Using this image, you can say that if you set up a water break in the sea, the waves will smash into the water break causing a lot of turmoil and bigger waves. A "no" can be seen as a water break or a wall in your system and since the nature of the emotions and feelings are to come, peak and subside, they will smash into your "no" and intensify.

    Your subconscious creates the pain in order to help you, not to annoy you. It want's you to acknowledge the pain - and when you do, it subsides... In this specific situation I had worked through some very tough emotions from my childhood and the pain was just blood circulation in my shoulder - I had released tension, and my subconscious simply translate almost any sensory perception as pain... ;). I have used this technique of saying "yes" in other situations and the pain starts moving around in my body which is sometimes a great relief as it brings peace to the "favorite pain spots" at least for a while... Doing this also helps me getting in contact with hidden emotions - before knowing about TMS I sometimes talked to the tense areas asking them to tell me what they wanted me to know. Now I use the basic "I know what's going on, dear subconscious, tell me what you are protecting me from and send blood circulation to my shoulder/back/arm/foot etc" and I see this as a more direct communication.

    I think the "yes" works so well because pain feeds on fear. A "no" is based on fear - at least for me :). Trying to control your subconscious is a game you'll never win!
     
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