Eyes -- help with determining?

D

dlane2530

Well known member
Hi everyone,

What helps you hold onto your belief that it's TMS when symptoms are active (currently most of the time, for me)?

So, I had eye issues. I've always been afraid about not seeing, too. Then I was in a terribly incorrect (prism that was unneeded and was making my eyes want to cross, plus overcorrection) pair of glasses for aseveral months, with horribly severe anxiety, depression, insomnia, neck pain, dizziness, light sensitivity, visual disturbances, etc.

Well. Now I've been in a correct prescription (checked and rechecked) for three weeks. I also had a full eye health exam with an opthamologist, and my eyes are healthy.

But my vision still feels weird.

Years ago, when something like this happened, a doctor put me in prism glasses and I felt better for a while. Then it happened again and I did $12K of vision therapy, and I felt better for a while and went back to contacts (no prism). Then this -- I went back to the same doc and he screwed things up royally.

But my new optometrist is absolutely convinced I do not need prism and my current script is correct. Now I'm wondering if I *ever* needed it or if it was all placebo.

Now I am treating this as anxiety (Claire Weekes) and TMS (Sarno/Gordon). But some of the symptoms are SO WEIRD. My eyes get so tired, and things look just weird, and distance can be upsetting...doc says all is normal and my eyes may still be adjusting. I'm dizzy, too. The other visual symptoms (like light sensitivity) went away when the strain of the bad prescription was removed.

Can you help me parse this? Does it really sound like TMS or am I ignoring that I am somehow the exception to the rule of how vision works?

The "bad" optometrist is so much like my overbearing dad that it's really been emotionally challenging for me to fire him. (But I did!)

Gosh, in my writing it out I can see how much sense it makes for it to be anxiety/TMS/continued recovery from the strain. My therapist agrees. But I can't hold onto this throughout the day as the symptoms come.

What helps you hold onto your conviction about TMS and not slip daily back into fear that you're missing something terribly wrong with your body?

I'm reading the books, practicing, and doing Alan Gordon's program on this site.
 
dlane2530 said:
What helps you hold onto your conviction about TMS and not slip daily back into fear that you're missing something terribly wrong with your body?
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@dlane2530, I'm pretty sure I have nothing to add here, that you haven't already received on your other thread: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/eyes-forehead-insomnia-anxiety-depression.29610/ (Eyes, forehead, insomnia, anxiety, depression...)

Ultimately, you are the only one who can change the conversation inside your brain. Vulnerable and emotional journaling has been shown and reported, time and time again, to be a powerful tool to get through to the real shit that you have to be willing to confront. But it can not be accomplished if there is any kind of avoidance, whether it's avoidance of doing the work, or avoidance of acknowledging certain topics. Avoidance means that you are completely under the control of your primitive TMS brain, which would prefer that you stay safely at home with your supposedly bad vision instead of risking your life out in the world.

And believe me, when it comes to avoidance, I know wtf what I'm talking about.

Alan's program has good information but it will not ask you to journal. The SEP is the one which does that.

dlane2530 said:
Can you help me parse this? Does it really sound like TMS or am I ignoring that I am somehow the exception to the rule of how vision works?
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You don't need us to diagnose you with TMS. You know the answer. Most of us diagnosed ourselves, which I believe is an essential first step to self-recovery.
 
Thank you, Jan. My therapist wants me to journal. I am actually a writer and editor by profession so this makes extra sense. But. Avoidance. I think I have been doing Alan's program because it does not make me journal.

You have convinced me that I need to journal. Thank you for shooting straight.

I have Dr. Schubiner's book, which is full of journaling. I think I'll do that so that I won't be tied to the computer for the program I follow.

I did free-expressive writing earlier today. It helped.

But I can feel that there are still things I don't want to say. I will keep working at being completely open.
 
Honestly, I'm doing the SEP cause it's free. It gives you a bit of education, stories, and then journaling prompts for each day. I am determined to not spend anymore money on this-between the drs visits and functional dr visits it's ridiculous. One of our TMS personality traits is being a perfectionist. Ignore that perfectionist tendency! There is no perfect way to do this because each of us is different and we will all have our own way of healing. Just start something and see where it takes you.
 
I did Dr. Schubiner's book except for the self-guided therapy thing because, well, I wasn't comfortable doing it at all (especially if someone else could hear me). I enjoyed the various kinds of journaling he guides people through, and the methods he presents for calming the nervous system and it's not dissimilar to the SEP. Just keep doing what you are doing.
The various methods are really just so someone finds something that speaks to them - that they can engage in and do the work. You will most likely get more comfortable with journaling over time. I didn't like it, but did it. Found that my body would try anything to resist it: get itchy, parts of me would "hurt", I'd get suddenly cold and need to get a sweater ... anything not to sit there :). Eventually all the resistance faded.
 
dlane2530 said:
Or is the SEP the way to go? From what I have seen, they seem similar. What are the differences?
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I kind of think that many of the writing exercises were probably based on Dr Schubiner original edition of his workbook! So you're in good hands there. I believe he updated it and some of the newer neuroscience information might now be included.

I would perhaps add a hefty dose of Nicole Sachs to supplement Unlearn Your Pain. Start by listening to as many of her podcast episodes as you can (one per day might be too much to ask, although most are between 30 and 60 minutes). Her new book Mind Your Body is also an awesome resource which incorporates the latest brain science (much of it thanks to Dr Schubiner's work since his original edition of ULYP) and her unique brand of journaling is very powerful.

I regularly recommend particular episodes of The Cure for Chronic Pain podcast with Nicole Sachs (this link is a forum search list). If you use a podcast app, or music service, it's easier to re-sort and listen to her introductory episodes which are way back in 2018. After a few of those to get to know her, you can use her website to keyword search on topics, or go backwards from the most current.
 
JanAtheCPA said:
I kind of think that many of the writing exercises were probably based on Dr Schubiner original edition of his workbook! So you're in good hands there. I believe he updated it and some of the newer neuroscience information might now be included.

I would perhaps add a hefty dose of Nicole Sachs to supplement Unlearn Your Pain. Start by listening to as many of her podcast episodes as you can (one per day might be too much to ask, although most are between 30 and 60 minutes). Her new book Mind Your Body is also an awesome resource which incorporates the latest brain science (much of it thanks to Dr Schubiner's work since his original edition of ULYP) and her unique brand of journaling is very powerful.

I regularly recommend particular episodes of The Cure for Chronic Pain podcast with Nicole Sachs (this link is a forum search list). If you use a podcast app, or music service, it's easier to re-sort and listen to her introductory episodes which are way back in 2018. After a few of those to get to know her, you can use her website to keyword search on topics, or go backwards from the most current.
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This made me laugh a bit because we were thrown back into the office 2 days a week and I've been binging her podcast all day to deal. So much Nicole.
 
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