Eye issue, i need help!

Hello,

I’ve only ever posted here a few times before. I really hope someone can give me support or words of encouragement or any insight to give me some Hope. I posted something similar in the “ask a therapist” section as well. With the knowledge of TMS so many of my mysterious ailments from childhood to now make sense and I have been able to heal many of my adult pains and ailments with this knowledge. However for the last year I have been struggling with something called blepharitis/ eye pain and Eye burning/ faster than normal eyelash shed (they do grow back over time and the burning really flares when stressed or crying , which just confirms there is NOTHING REALLY WRONG WITH ME!)
But last year when it started I immediately saw an eye doctor and he said a bunch of really horrible things that scared me. Saw a few others, more of the same, even derms and holistic drs. Had all the fancy eye treatments for dry eye and blepharitis and of course none of that has worked. Unfortunately I also struggle with OCD and PTSD. This combined with not being able to control what is happening with my eyes has sent me into severe depression for about a year. (Not keeping area clean/ constant build up of crust/not being able to wear makeup / burning sensations) I’ve worked with a TMS therapist, went on a TMS retreat and even talked to someone at the Pain Psychology Center in LA who told me my issue could be physical and told me the director of the center recommended special tea tree wipes (which i bought immediately and now think is adding to my issue). This past week I saw the same TMS dr I initially went to a year ago. He was kind and told me not to go to anymore eye drs and to stop all of my daily eye cleaning rituals / wipes. For the last 6 days I’ve given up my eye care / cleaning rituals / and mirror checking compulsions. Last night before bed I saw my eyes filled with yellow gunk on lash line. Layers of dandruff built up on lash line. The worse part is my eyelashes have been falling out faster than normal. And last night many came out and I was traumatized. I don’t know how to approach this anymore. I’ve been so confused by mixed messages. With pain elsewhere I’ve been able to actually ignore it and let it be and it dissipates. But with my eyes and skin where it’s right in front of me it’s very hard to ignore, esp with the eyelash loss , and being told to not clean them when I can seen yellow debris building up, it feels so scary esp because of what happened last night. I hope someone has some wisdom. I’m really desperate.
Thank you immensely to anyone who shares any feedback.
-A

 

Hi Tonia589,

I suggest you take your TMS physician's advice. There is a worry and compulsivity aspect which you express, and are aware of. I think the physician advice is very good in regards to this aspect specifically. That is, there is nothing life-threatening going on with your eyes. You're overly focusing on them, plain and simple (not that anyone else wouldn't also be caught in this -- your worry is understandable). I hear that you're being taken "into the fire" by this symptom, and it is calling you to "do nothing." This is not easy, but recommended if you want to face your fears.

I know I had eye lash loss, irritation years ago, not as bad as you described, but it went away when I quit worrying about it.

I hope this helps, and maybe you'll get other responses more specifically addressing the diagnosis you've gotten.

Currently, by the way, there is little response at the Ask the Therapist thread, so it is good you've posted here too.

Andy

 

I have seen many people with almost no eyelash, and they are still quite lovable!

 

Are you sure that's not pinkeye?

 

It's definitely TMS. I'm queen of the eye problems and I can relate to the blepharitis thing. I've had periods where I felt like my eyeballs underneath the upper lids are on fire. When that happens, I just tell myself it's TMS and shift focus. It sounds like you are constantly touching your eyes and checking and using cleaning agents too. For makeup remover I use this product called "Eye Scrub" by Novartis ( I get them on Amazon). They are just wet wipes (not scrubby at all) and they take off eye makeup like a dream and they prevent styes. The tea tree thing makes me cringe by the way. That stuff is super allergenic!! Just leave your eyes alone for awhile and use water and mild soap or the product I mentioned from now on.

 

What's the yellow gunk, dandruff about? Is that just extra eye boogers?