Day 3 Exercise

Yesterday was the first time I have exercised in 2 months. I went to the gym and tried Circuit training with new machines. I was afraid I would not be able to do it because you have to sit at some of the machines and sitting always triggered my back pain. All my attention was taken up learning the new machines and trying to follow the trainer's’ instructions. I forgot about the my fears until the end of session. Minimal discomfort, very tired. Then I became worried my exhaustion might bring on killer hip pain or I would wake up today in crippling pain. Neither happened. No matter how many times I tell myself to stop trying to bully and frighten myself, the worry thoughts keep coming.

 

It's natural to expect some pain after doing some exercise after two months. See, how you worried needlessly, in advance of any discomfort? Counter fears from your inner bully by being positive. Try laughing at your inner bully.

 

I really understand where you are coming from. I can't exercise (or maybe that should be 'I choose not to exercise') because when I get out of breath in the slightest I have a panic attack. It all started a few years back when I was under a huge amount of stress and I got out of breath helping a neighbour try to push start her car. I had a panic attack because my throat was tight (stress) and I thought I couldn't get enough air and had to go indoors and lay shaking under the covers. I had a couple of things in my past which may be the triggers - my dad throttling me round my throat when I was 'naughty' once and then later almost drowning in the sea - both very traumatic experiences for a 5-6 year old.

Anyway, after this first panic attack my stresses continued and so did the panic when getting out of breath. I think it has become a learned response for me. I get out of breath; my mind says to me 'whenever you get out of breath you have a panic attack, well guess what, you are out of breath now so PANIC' and unfortunately that happens. I can be fine doing a bit of exercise but as soon as I realise I have been doing it for a bit I am like you and I start to worry. I worry that I have overdone it and when I stop I won't be able to get enough air in my lungs and so begins the panic cycle. I am going to take Walt's advice and try laughing at my inner bully.

I hope I haven't highjacked your post. Not my intention. I just wanted to let you know that although it isn't a pain issue for me I understand your fears but it also seems that you are doing really well and should be really proud of your progress.