Day 3 Exercise Making Things Worse(?)

[AnotherTMSGuy]

Today I'm answering the following question:

When was the last time you exercised or did another physical activity? What was this activity? How did it make you feel physically and emotionally? If it is has been a while since you last exercised, why?

I've been exercising daily since the day I finished The Mindbody Prescription. The problem is, my pain has been steadily more constant since I've started working on this stuff and I'm very tempted to attribute it to working out. My back pain, generally speaking, isn't bad if I don't work out. It's dull and manageable. When I start getting active, though, it really flares up and becomes a constant. But a happy me is an active me, and I'm determined to see what happens if I just...don't stop this time.

I'm also smashing through all of my conditioned workarounds (IE: I'm bending over normally. I stopped foam rolling. I'm picking up anything that a person my size can reasonably be expected to.) So that's got me horrified.

Trying to sit here and tell myself its just tension, and watching videos/reading resources from the wiki definitely brought the pain down (throw a point up for the TMS belief.) I also broke down crying when asked to write down some old upsetting memories, so it's fair to assume I have some work to do. Adding this all to my evidence list!

I think my biggest fear isn't the pain itself--it's that I won't be able to work properly if I push myself to a place of no return. Like, if one day I totally throw my back out...what then? How will I survive?

For now, I'll just keep reminding myself it's all in my head and doing the daily work.

Thanks for reading!

 

[Gigi]

Hi TMSGuy.
I noticed that your pain increased as you began exploring TMS and mind/body connections. Rather than attributing that to your increased number of workouts, you might consider that your subconscious is rebelling now that you've discovered its game plan! There's something called the symptom imperative that you may want to read about. It's quite common.
Good for you for expanding your physical limitations. The more you bend and maneuver, the healthier you become. Fear is the limiting factor.
It may help you to read some of the success stories posted by various members. If others can recover, so can you.
Blessings.

 

[AnotherTMSGuy]

Hi to anybody reading this. First of all thanks Gigi. That resonated with me/felt true. Secondly, I worked out all week and my back pain stayed the same. Sometimes a little better, sometimes a little worse. It also doesn't seem to correlate to when I work out!

I consider this a victory, because I was terrified it'd get worse! Released some deep-seeded sadness w/ journaling yesterday I didn't even know I had, so hope is high today.