Every week something new

Every week for the past few weeks has been something new, right now I'm battling Eczema symptoms on my face...which makes me feel like I'm going to go nuts. The week before it was my stomach which I haven't had any big issues with in months, the week before that was my arm, then before that was a horrible cold that just knocked me down. I have to go pee all night which is hard because I have a newborn (not my baby) I sometimes watch at night.

This is what I have been dealing with in the past months. We had to move into my fiances brothers house with his wife due to financial difficulty, my fiance is on disability. I have bills that I need to pay off that I can't seem to catch up on along with my sons small hospital bills we have left over from his surgery in December.. agh We had to downsize on everything we own so we can go from a 2 bedroom apartment into 2 bedrooms shared house. Once we moved in which was very stressful and I had many anxiety attacks during this time, no fun Once we settled and figured ok we got this everything will be ok, my fiance will be going into a trade school at night I will continue my sewing for my little shop, my son will be closer to his friends and school and we can do stuff with his brother and his wife easy easy... nope.. After our first week in a niece in the family had her 5 children taken away by CPS and we took in 3 of the youngest kids into the home, and my brother in law had to give up his room for them forcing them to sleep in the den which I'm sure is not comfy. We of course help and everyone in the home is stressed. All of our freedom is now taking care of these kids. One is only about 2 months old and the others are 2 and 3 years old. Now I've taken care of kids before but these kids have no structure no manners and they are very difficult to handle. Everyone in the house is hurting from something from backaches to arm pain to insomnia. This situation may last from 6-11 months or permanent depending on the mother and her progress. It's been extremely difficult since non of us are accustomed to having children on a daily basis.. my son is 14 now but he can pretty much do everything himself lol.. I think what really kills me is my free time to just not doing anything... just absolutely nothing, now I don't have time to sew, my fiance hasnt had time to go register at the school since he is sitting the kids during the day because there is no income for a sitter yet through foster care yet until they complete all the classes and stuff. He will be returning to work, which he was out on stress leave so imagine how he will return back. I'm really battling with my TMS symptoms right now, I wish I had more time to work in my workbook I think it would be the perfect time. Sorry for the long post I guess I needed to let this all out. Theres more but I can't write it all out lol

 

Oh Wendy I'm so very sorry to hear what you're going through. Sometimes life is like a freight train, just barreling through on its own timetable.

When you get a chance, breathe. In between tasks, breathe. Remind yourself of everything that is good. There have been times where my gratitude list was pretty basic, as in, "I can brush my own teeth."

Hang in there! I'm sending blessings your way.

 

Thank you Gigi, you are correct and I know I should feel good about helping these kids out instead of them ending up with strangers. I just want to feel great doing it lol

 

Your subconscience is pretty crafty and has certainly kicked into overdrive. I am so sorry that you are dealing with all that you are. Gigi is right about breathing. Stress causes us to shallow breathe, which makes everything tense. Try to be mindful, when you are doing mundane tasks, and do some breathing in through your nose and exhaling through the mouth. It is a start. Control what you can and ahhhhhhhhhh with it.

 

Wow, you are definitely in a high stress environment so it's completely understandable. I would suggest a vacation but that doesn't sound realistic. It really really sounds like you need some "me" time.Is there anywhere you can go for a quite walk? Maybe a nice relaxing bath just before bed?

Always feel free to post more on here too. Getting feelings out to people who can relate really helps.

 

Yes I totally have been catching myself holding my breath and now my coworker of 10 years passed away on Saturday, I got the news while having an anxiety attack because I felt hot, so it took a few hours to bring my body back to normal. Sunday I felt like I had body aches all day, just horrible feeling. I started to continue reading Dr. Sarno's book until I felt better

The heat makes me feel anxiety because last year I felt really sick during a camping trip in the heat that everytime I start to feel a bit too hot I feel fear.. so I'm trying to unlearn that still.

 

I wish I could have a vacation, I need atleast a few hours to get my hair done ... thank you