Even TMS pros get relapses

Hi all,

I've been fairly quiet on here for the past few months as I have been adjusting to new mom life, part time work and taking care of my son. For everyone else who is a parent, you know that it's a difficult but rewarding job...and i've definitely taken some time to adjust. We have great days and tough days.

I've been feeling frustrated at some TMS returning in the past weeks, though this time my brain was smart enough to send it to some areas of my body that never had TMS pain before. Clearly it knew it wasn't fooling me with back pain or sciatica, so instead it decided to give me a glute muscle spasm and wrist pain! I had a little bit of annoying-but-not-really-concerning wrist tendonitis purportedly from pregnancy/postpartum and lifting my son...then my brain randomly decided to give me pain in the other wrist too (also causing me to question whether the first side might also be TMS...hmm.)

I guess i'm not really worried about any of this, I know my body is strong and i'll beat TMS again. It seems to be a little harder this time around since i'm in the new parent role and have a lot less time for TMS work than I did the first time. I've been taking some time to meditate when the baby is napping or my husband is with him. I'm debating going through Alan's program again too to work out what's going on for me emotionally this time around. Staying zen with a new baby can be really hard!

Just wanted to post this update and let some of you know that even the more TMS-adept of us have the symptom imperative and have to keep working on this stuff. And any tips for finding time for TMS work with a new baby in the mix are appreciated!

 

Congratulations on the birth of your son! What a wonderful time, being a new Mom, but a time of overwhelm. Caring for a baby is a privilege that brings joy and wonderment to the new mom, but can also nudge at our own perception of who we are in the world.

Give yourself a pat on the back for all of your good days and don't be hard on yourself for the tough ones that are going to be part an parcel of raising a child. Your brain seems to be giving you little nudges, but you know what they mean and you know what is best for you regarding these varied pains.

Stay posted, let us know how you and the babe are doing.
Congratulations again.

Kindly
Lainey

 

Congratulations on being a new Mom! Parenting is certain to create internal conflicts that can create TMS to those of us prone to it. Since parenting is both wonderful and incredibly demanding, it is often that new parents repress any of the negative feelings about it that come up. Our culture is not very supportive of any new parent, especially Moms, who have something negative to express about the experience. We often tell our selves that we shouldn't feel exhausted, overburdened, and missing some time to ourselves. Any of those thoughts of I shouldn't feel this, are fertile ground for TMS in my experience.

I've been at this 5 years and consider myself recovered from TMS, but recently went through a relapse of a week of fibromyalgia. I knew it was TMS right away, as I've gotten good at that. But I couldn't figure out what had triggered it. Finally, I went back to journaling and after awhile I had one of the A-HA moments where it came to me. My symptoms immediately started to reside once I knew the trigger. I believe journaling is effective because it demonstrates a willingness to look within to our unconcious, which is then willing to release the repressed material. At least that is how it seems to work for me.

Wishing you the best on your new journey of motherhood.

 

Thanks for the supportive words! I definitely have those feelings that I shouldn't feel something negative about parenting at times, more so when i'm sleep deprived and haven't had as much time for self-care. I've worked on meditating, which has helped cultivate more self-compassion...I also think I forgot how long it took my TMS to go away the first time, so patience is of the essence. Sometimes when I get a TMS-style muscle spasm it can take several weeks to go away (honestly longer than some "real" strains in my opinion and experience).

We're doing well, baby is very adorable and working on rolling over Also keeping my husband and I up at night and going through a growth spurt! But it's all worth it.

 

Yeah... the ring around the Rosie kinda sucks, but you know what is going on.

Child rearing is probably the most mentioned underlying cause Sarno wrote about in HBP... who could be a less likely target of repressed stuff than a child? And there is nobody in the world,save your parents who share so much DNA with you.

Since '99 I have had it take runs at virtually every part of my body....and they went away with the same thing every time.

"If you think you've reached enlightenment, spend a week with your family" - Alpert

 

Congratulations on your new baby! I think a TMS personality is ripe for symptoms with our children. He has stolen your heart and you are responsible for him, that is a lot of pressure. You want perfection in yourself already, and now you want perfection for him. But you're in love, so its so worth it!

So, go easy on yourself, and let some things go. Enjoy this beautiful time. And remember its normal for them to drive you crazy! I am a childcare provider and I think more mom's are being open about how hard it is. Maybe, as a society, moms don't have to prove they can have careers and families as much as previous generations.

Hopefully your symptoms stop soon.

Lizzy

 

That is good to know...thanks for the words of wisdom. I think I forgot just how convincing the TMS can feel! It's going away in one of my wrists and my hip but the right wrist persists. I was thinking it was of a physical cause but now i'm not so sure. Thankfully it kind of doesn't matter either way, whether it's "physically caused" tendonitis or TMS caused it will go away in time. I think for me being patient with myself is the key!

 

Just a random thought. The Right side of the body is the "masculine" side. Maybe take a look at how your Dad "fathered" you. Or how your husband is participating in "fathering" the baby. You also had a male child.

These are just ideas for journaling and not meant to be diagnostic or anything like that. I have no counselor training, so take the thoughts in that light. Thanks.

 

Hey lovely you,

Not much for me to add to the wisdom here but I thought I'd mention a book written by Rick Hansen and his wife Jan called Mother Nurture. I've not read it and it was written a while ago but it seems to come from a mind~body perspective and Dr. Hansen's work certainly dovetails nicely with modern TMS theory.

I feel the need to emphasise that I hope this suggestion doesn't even begin to touch on the endless opinion you must forever be on the end of. I just remember reading about it a while ago and this post called it to mind.

Much love to you and yours xx