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Epiphany/low-point

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by leslietown, Apr 26, 2021.

  1. leslietown

    leslietown Newcomer

    Hi!

    I had an epiphany but at the same time I don't know what to do with the information. Perhaps someone can help me figure this out here. You have all been so helpful with me, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    Background: I was in a whiplash accident 2.5 years ago around the time I had been teaching for 2 months. After that I have had pain in my ear, left shoulder, head. I am convinced it is psycho-somatic (tms).

    I am a teacher and in my country we just had a break. During the break the pain almost disappears and I almost laugh at it..talk to it etc. However I become quite depressed and overcome with thoughts. There is a constant burnout feeling every break (also summer, which in my country is fully paid leave and vacation).

    But today was the first day back. From the first lesson in the morning, no thoughts – just strong pain. Like head/shoulder/back of head is numb, throbbing, hurting all day.

    I am trying to figure out what could it be then the underlying worry my brain is protecting me from. I always want the best for my students, do more than I should, am super positive in Zoom lessons (like a rag after lessons on the bed). Perfectionism? Fear of failure?

    I was wondering if there are any teachers or also someone with the same thing, pain getting much worse after vacation/anxiety bad during vacation. Or perhaps you have some ideas for the underlying problems in this case.. I am not yet very good at analysing my emotions and recognizing them.

    Thank you so much
     
  2. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Both, perhaps. Combined with procrastination in some cases (that's a big one for me) and perhaps in others, combined with depression, which is sort of a form of mental/emotional procrastination if you think about it.

    I don't have any answers for you off the top of my head, because I find myself really bogged down right now myself. Too many responsibilities, saying yes to too many things which are suddenly overwhelming, combined with the incessant uncertainty caused by COVID, topped off with a small recent personal trauma (very small, but one must acknowledge the effect and allow the time to process nonetheless).

    Maybe others will contribute to this discussion? I think it's a valid and valuable one.

    ~Jan
     
    Balsa11 likes this.
  3. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

    When I realized that I could relax, breathe, and shift my attitude in the midst of tough things in life, and that I could decide how I wanted to respond after choosing to respond, it became less of a "should I do it or not" and more of something I could confidently navigate. I'm still working on indecisiveness but learning to turn on the relaxation response whenever and wherever I need it has been a game changer for me.
     

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