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Day 2 Emotions

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by wannarun, May 18, 2015.

  1. wannarun

    wannarun Peer Supporter

    First of all, I find this really challenging. I think that speaks volumes as to how out of touch I've become with my emotions. I was working crazy hours about 3 years ago. I would get so tired and I would tell myself things like, "my happiness doesn't matter. I just need to focus on my work. Pump out work, train for marathon, help kids with homework. What matters is results, not how I feel." Something tells me it was bad. If I started to feel bad I would power through, caffeine my way out of it. The first symptoms I got were actually in line with peripheral neuropathy. Right after I got shin splints from running. I wonder if it was my body figuring out a way to slow me down.

    3 things that make me angry:(I might do a few extra here)
    * Never living up to my own expectations
    * Compromising my own happiness for others. Being unable or unwilling to say no.
    * Trading money for the best years of my life.
    * Being afraid of not having enough money.
    * When my kids break my stuff.
    * Being chained to previous commitments
    * Having this stupid back pain.
    * Having foot and leg pain.
    * Rude doctors
    * My neighbor who is so judgmental.
    * lawsuits that get my mom in a tizzy.
    * my mom's family not considering her interests
    * when parts of my yard get messed up. I seriously like a nice yard. I hate it when it gets destroyed by my dogs.

    3 things that make me sad:
    * my dad not spending time with me as a kid
    * losing close friends.
    * not prioritizing or maintaining friendships
    * losing a job I loved
    * losing my favorite dog.
    * not skiing
    * not running
     
  2. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Wannarun,
    Although you seem to find it hard, it is obvious you are bringing your juice and fire right into this work. Bravo. There is a very refined version of all the ways you push yourself in your life. A knife of awareness that cuts through the chaff. Your awareness is bringing insight and feeling. You are on the way!
    Andy B.
     
  3. PamD

    PamD Peer Supporter

    Hi Wannarun,
    What a big step you are taking doing this work. So glad you are posting and being a part of this community. Your courage to do this is inspiring. I so relate to what you posted here. Keep on keeping on :) Pam
     
  4. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, too, Wannarun. The list of things that make you sad... I share most of them. Never skiied and have given up running years ago.
    Two dogs I adored passed on and my darling Annie is 13 and starting to show her age.

    Your spirit is wonderful and I am sure everyone appreciates you posting about it.
     

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