Emotions

[Macca]

I have had Costochonditris for 4 years and it’s been constant pain. I came across the mind body connection a year ago and have very good knowledge of how it works. The theory is the same but some tms vary in approach.

for the past 4 years I haven’t felt an emotion just numb. I know when the onset of my pain started I was under massive stress and I pushed those emotions away because I felt like it was weakness.

recently though I have started to feel emotions and well up time to time but something stopped me from crying.
My symptoms have ramped up recently and for the last week I have had sharp pains in my chest which I have resisted a trip to the hospital. I have had multiple test over the last 4 years. The pain has moved all over my chest & ribs but this pain is the original bugger that started at the moment.
today though whilst thinking about how I felt at the time, loss of control, fear, loneliness I had a proper cry for the first time. Straight after I forced myself to get angry because I have and am in a shit storm, I have really suffered. I started to punch the hell out of my pillows and bite down on them so I could scream into them. I finally feel so much compassion for myself because I see the 4 year old in me and it breaks my heart that he has suffered along with the adult me. I just needed someone to tell me it was going to be ok.
My symptoms haven’t changed and if anything they have got a little worse tonight.
I even went on the original group who got me stuck with all the fear and bombarded them with knowledge, the bloke who spreads all the bs stood by his opinion but admitted that it’s a good solution to work alongside his methods. That was further proof it’s all been tms.
A big plus for me was to feel today.

Is it usual to finally feel emotions but still experience the discomfort strong.
Just wanted to know if I’m on the right tracks.

many thanks

 

[Cactusflower]

Hang in there @Macca (love this user name, btw)
You are on the right track.
Along with doing things like allowing emotions, you need to deal with the fear and anxiety (reading Claire Weekes Hope and Help For Your Nerves will help loads with the anxiety: https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Overcome_Anxiety_with_Dr._Claire_Weekes (Overcome Anxiety with Dr. Claire Weekes)
Working on decreasing your internal stress (what you think about yourself, how you react to things that trigger you emotionally etc) and also reducing the stress load on your nervous system (which generally means finding things that can disengage you from thoughts, self-judgements etc. can be anything from mediation to running, to walking in nature or doing art....whatever gets you out of your head).
If you haven't looked at the SEP, it's a free program here and it might be of interest to you. It will help you find ways to do the things I mentioned and to continue expressing your emotions in healthy ways.

One of the great things about TMS work is that you can pick and choose what works best for you. Since you are thinking about how to process emotions, the SEP sounds like it's along the same lines as you are wanting to follow.

Keep going. The path isn't always straight, sometimes it's longer than we'd really like it to be but once you set your mind to it, it makes life so much better!

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Great advice from @Cactusflower about the next steps, @Macca, and especially about the many ways in which your TMS brain will try to trip you up and throw you back into fear and doubt.

Is it usual to finally feel emotions but still experience the discomfort strong.

I can assure you that it's super common for the TMS brain mechanism to "double down" and throw everything it's got at you when an emotional breakthrough occurs. Doubt is the strongest weapon it has! A combination of patience and self-compassion are your armor.

I like your story of challenging the other website! And you actually got a positive response, which is not just awesome, it's also quite unusual!

 

[Baseball65]

Is it usual to finally feel emotions but still experience the discomfort strong.

Yes. This isn't a zero sum game... there is always conditioning and the time it takes for the unconscious (which is lumbering and slow) to let go of the strategy...that is where 'talking to your brain' comes in handy.

the bloke who spreads all the bs stood by his opinion but admitted that it’s a good solution to work alongside his methods

I don't understand, but if he makes money off of it, that would be like Chiro, accupuncture,etc...all physical 'cures' that occasionally acknowledge 'part' of Sarno...as long as you keep giving them money.

The only professional anything that some of us need is someone to help us find and discover the anger....bring it to light. And not all of us need that.

but that reference frame of which you speak? Feeling that anger? That is a good place to move into.

peace