Day 8 Emotions & pain

[pilatesgirl]

I have been somewhat successful at recognizing my emotions connected to the pelvic pain up until this week. I had been doing very well...pain was 95% better...I was thinking I was almost out of the woods. Then bam, it returns and I feel like i'm starting all over again. I know I am dealing with a lot of conditioning and triggers. It feels like there are so many triggers. Mother in law, time of the month, kids home for summer vacation, and a lot of running around this summer.

I was a bit overwhelmed today...thinking about a few past experiences that were upsetting. I want to get into the habit of journaling for a few minutes when this happens but it's not always convenient with kids around. I think I am putting too much pressure on myself to get everything back to where I was prior to the pain. I also felt a little restless today. I want to do so many things (probably because the last two years I didn't do much) and I am having a difficult time with patience. Patience with the program and patience with the recovery process. I realize this is not helpful to my recovery.

My progress so far has been bumpy. I'm going to assume that is a pretty normal part of the process. I do get discouraged and a little depressed at times though.
Pilatesgirl

 

[Marian]

Pilatesgirl, it's no wonder your pain returned. You are under a lot of stress. Go easy on yourself. I just had a visit from my inlaws and knew that my symptoms would get worse, and they did, and I also knew that when they left my symptoms would get better, and they did that as well. Progress for some of us is definitely bumpy -- just ignore it.

Sometimes the wind blows you one way or another, but overall your progress is going in the right direction. The roads can be curvy, but they get you there.

 

[pilatesgirl]

Pilatesgirl, it's no wonder your pain returned. You are under a lot of stress. Go easy on yourself. I just had a visit from my inlaws and knew that my symptoms would get worse, and they did, and I also knew that when they left my symptoms would get better, and they did that as well. Progress for some of us is definitely bumpy -- just ignore it.

Sometimes the wind blows you one way or another, but overall your progress is going in the right direction. The roads can be curvy, but they get you there.

Thank you Marian,

I needed to hear that and I so appreciate your response. Having the kids home is going to be an adjustment and I will need to work on fitting in my journaling. I was feeling so good I thought perhaps I didn't need the SEP program. I definitely do and will continue to journal.

Last night when I journaled I got a lot of scary feelings down on paper. These feeling have been inside of me for years and I was quite emotional as I wrote them. I had all kinds of uncomfortable feelings...headache and stomach upset. This is something I will need to journal more about. I have quite a history so I have a lot to write. I believe this will be very therapeutic for me but also emotional and at times difficult.

Today I feel a little tired and worn out from the week. I plan to read some of Steve O's book, journal and ignore my symptoms.

Pilatesgirl

 

[Marian]

Sounds like a plan, pilatesgirl. I have also found that sometimes, if there's a lot going on, I can take a day or two off from the SEP, especially if I have uncovered some major emotional issues. Things need time to settle down. We can't approach this with our usual perfectionistic zeal. We have to be relaxed and kind to ourselves, I find. What a concept!

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

I agree, Marian. It can be helpful to take a day or two off from the SE program or TMS and journaling, even thinking about TMS and pain.
It can help to refresh ourselves by enjoying the day, getting sunshine and fresh air, walking, exercise, gardening, just doing nothing. Maybe sit int he sun and read good book on something that takes our mind off our symptoms. "Perfectionist zeal" can be a real pain! haha

 

[Mara]

I just had a visit from my inlaws

Enough said.

We can't approach this with our usual perfectionistic zeal.

So true! I struggle with this. I am very black and white, and either grab onto something like a dog devouring a shoe, or I don't do it all. It's like I am either a perfectionist or a procrastinator, no middle ground.