Part of why I believe in the TMS diagnosis is that it resonates so well with other things I have experienced. Some years ago, while working on depression, I participated in group therapy. The thing that stands out to me about that was how we would "check in" at the beginning of each session, by telling the group how we were feeling. There was a big poster on the wall with a hundred or so different emotions listed and illustrated with a cartoon. Usually, the only way I could come close to identifying an emotion was to look over that poster until I found one that seemed to fit. Even then it was a struggle. I was not the only one who had trouble with that. We all did. And for some reason, the therapist didn't follow up by pointing out when someone checked in without describing an emotion. "I feel OK" was one that was often used. Or the participant would launch into a diatribe about events or troubles in their life. That it was so difficult for everyone to describe their emotions was something that really stuck with me. I'm sure it's awkward for anyone to talk about their emotions, but here was a group of people who had come together and were paying for the experience, and yet still running away from the exercize. I've thought about that often, but until I began to pursue this program, I haven't done more than just think about that! Clearly that is an important part of what created the issues that brought all of those participants together with me into group therapy. And now I understand that it how I came to have TMS. The problem is, I really have trouble getting past that. On occasion in my life, I have been overcome with emotion for brief periods of time, and at those times it is intense. Then it passes and I'm back to being stoic. I used to have emotions. I know I did. Certainly fear and anxiety. And I still experience and am aware of feelings of overwhelm or worry. But sitting here now, trying to identify what I am feeling right now? Nothing. I think it will be huge for me to be able to become aware of my emotions. I want it. I need it. But how to get there?