Eating disorder as OCD?

[stevow7]

I really struggle accepting my body with how much weight I could gain and how I could look if I don't exercise.
I would like to stop thinking of having to workout to eat more.
I would like to just accept my body without restricting.
There's just too many stuff that I need to do and my mind is like "if you don't workout you just gain fat.
Probably I need fat, but the mind says but everything goes to fat if you don't workout.
It's a struggle that I would like to be free and eat how much and w/e I want even if I stop weightlifting or just be a sitting down at home.

 

[Dorado]

Hi, @stevow7,

I am very sorry you are dealing with so much anxiety. Based on your recent posts, it sounds like you have multiple concerns about your overall well-being from a physical, mental, and emotional perspective. Nobody should ever have to go through that alone - you absolutely deserve the very best support. If you are dealing with an eating disorder, body image struggles, severe anxiety, OCD, exhaustion, and other challenges, it's important for you to have the right resources available to you.

This forum will always be available for mind-body healing support, and it can be an excellent supplemental resource for many topics, but I understand that a forum isn't able to provide the type of support that therapeutic programs and treatment can achieve. Are you working with someone who specializes in anxiety, OCD, eating disorders, and body image struggles right now? I've had some times over the years where I've reengaged with my local cognitive behavioral therapist when working through challenges, so I completely understand.

 

[NameK]

One of my current struggles is based around eating I unfortunately devolped a fear of choking on food when I was 11.

I eventually for over it in 6 months or so but unfortunately it has come back last year abd has gotten progressively worse.

I'm working with my doctor and therapist to try and work on it as I know it's anxiety based. I basically have to retrain my brain and get it to trust my body that I'm not going to choke on food but it's easier said then done in my case.

There are many people in the world choke , survive and are stuffing there faces the same or very next day no issues so why can't I get past this ?

It just really sucks that my brain has made me fear something we all do naturally without even thinking twice about (swallowing food).

Not to mention I get so angry that it can take me over an hour to eat a meal !

All that time i spend eating I could be using to read a book, spend time with my family, etc.

Especially since recently I got some very unfortunate news about a close family member we don't know for sure yet what's going on but it's still quite stressful and hard to ignore.

Some of my tms symptoms are coming back that have been gone since 2018. Especially since it's a simlair topic or region that doesn't help for sure.

But i know I can overcome this eventually if I keep trying and get rid of the fear that's driving these symptoms.

 

[stevow7]

Hi, @stevow7,

I am very sorry you are dealing with so much anxiety. Based on your recent posts, it sounds like you have multiple concerns about your overall well-being from a physical, mental, and emotional perspective. Nobody should ever have to go through that alone - you absolutely deserve the very best support. If you are dealing with an eating disorder, body image struggles, severe anxiety, OCD, exhaustion, and other challenges, it's important for you to have the right resources available to you.

This forum will always be available for mind-body healing support, and it can be an excellent supplemental resource for many topics, but I understand that a forum isn't able to provide the type of support that therapeutic programs and treatment can achieve. Are you working with someone who specializes in anxiety, OCD, eating disorders, and body image struggles right now? I've had some times over the years where I've reengaged with my local cognitive behavioral therapist when working through challenges, so I completely understand.

hi! yeah I have a therapist and a psychiatrist and I still feel its not enough. thats why I look for help. like for example, this morning I was feeling great. I went to workout and now I feel mentally tired and feel like I got hit by a truck in the head. I'm fearing exercising.

 

[stevow7]

One of my current struggles is based around eating I unfortunately devolped a fear of choking on food when I was 11.

I eventually for over it in 6 months or so but unfortunately it has come back last year abd has gotten progressively worse.

I'm working with my doctor and therapist to try and work on it as I know it's anxiety based. I basically have to retrain my brain and get it to trust my body that I'm not going to choke on food but it's easier said then done in my case.

There are many people in the world choke , survive and are stuffing there faces the same or very next day no issues so why can't I get past this ?

It just really sucks that my brain has made me fear something we all do naturally without even thinking twice about (swallowing food).

Not to mention I get so angry that it can take me over an hour to eat a meal !

All that time i spend eating I could be using to read a book, spend time with my family, etc.

Especially since recently I got some very unfortunate news about a close family member we don't know for sure yet what's going on but it's still quite stressful and hard to ignore.

Some of my tms symptoms are coming back that have been gone since 2018. Especially since it's a simlair topic or region that doesn't help for sure.

But i know I can overcome this eventually if I keep trying and get rid of the fear that's driving these symptoms.

You got this! I hope you recover!