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(duplicate post) need help

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by abezz, Jan 15, 2018.

  1. abezz

    abezz Peer Supporter

    im just going to go ahead and post my full story as well as my successes and current struggles. hopefully someone here can help..

    im a 26 year old male and it all started 2 years ago when i was working (barber) and my left leg went totally numb right down to my toes with excrutiating pain. could barely stand or walk more than a minute. paid for a private mri and results showed l4-l5 l5-s1 herniation and the doctor told me to quit my job and wait 2 years for surgery.. i refused and did some research and found a place that does spinal decompression on a machine called the drx 9000 20 sessions for 4 grand made me better ! i was amazed and it lasted about a year. mind you when i had the pain the first time it was only in my leg no back pain. fast forward about a year i was playing badminton on july first which is canada day. played a few games very intensely and was fine. got up after lunch to play some more and then i felt my back go out. the next day could barely walk..terrifying. took about a week to be mobile again. went back to work and bent over to shave a clients beard and there it went again.. in bed for another week.. was good for about a month after that while carefully monitoring my movements.. then one day i woke up feeling amazing. decided i should go to the gym for a bit before i go buy my fiance her wedding ring. i got on the elliptical for about a half hour and when i got off i was feeling great. while laying down stretching i felt an onset of pain come on and there we go again.. another week. who throws their back out on or after the elliptical? embaraasing :( a week after that i was sitting in a chair and bent over to tie my shoe and it happened again.. was sick of going to chiro all the time etc etc. my friend recommended sarnos book. i read it and believe it. its been about 2 and a half months since and my back hasnt gone out. i have done many things, lift heavy, run, have sex, shovel snow, slip and fall on ice, etc, its been fine. my wedding was a week ago and i was worried to death that it would happen again on my wedding day and that i would be disabled on my wedding day but i was fine ! now these are all huge milestones but i still have days where im scared all the time. i cant help but check in on my pain, i worry. i constantly read tms material but sometimes i just try to live my life. i dont want to hinder the progress by being upset that im not 100% pain free but i wake up in the morning and always have some pain. also when i lay down and lift one leg vs the other i still have loss of range of motion and some pain while lifting the leg that went numb when i first got the diagnosis. how do i restore that range of motion. im still however scared of that damn elliptical machine. i need some help in understanding how to get to better by 100% without symptom imperatives. how does a person get to truly no pain or anxiety or anything. there has to be a way.. how do i get rid of the small twinges and pains. when i stop and think psychologically whats going on? it doesnt work because they are all conscious things i come up with. some times i sit and think to myself its been a while since my back went out im about due for another flairup. which is terrible thinking i know. i know i deserve to be happy but sometimes i feel like im not allowed to or supposed to. its messed up. i think were all human and fall into these negative brain loops any help and imsight on how to get rid of everything once and for all would be great.. :)
    Click#7 likes this.
  2. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    I wrote a response on the duplicate of this post - should we delete this one?

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