Today I'm having doubts, a difficult time. Medical tests have shown some problems: very low iron, for instance. I feel shaky and was attributing it to fear of back going "out again. But some days I feel less "shaky" and have now been attributing that to taking iron. I have regained so much mobility. I have been using this program in combination with Neil Pearson's "Life is Now" program. But my hips and legs are still so tight I feel disconnected from them almost...have not been able to find the feeling of connection when I yawn or stretch, that I used to have, I feel like I'm tottering around on stilts. My hips flexors, especially left, still get tighter and tighter when I sit, and lying on my back for more than 5 minutes is still "impossible" because my back tightens and feels like it's going to go into spasm again. I want to be "comfort able" again! I really don't know how much of my pain and stiffness is due to fear, after repeated back spasms; how much possibly due to "physical" causes (besides low iron, my thyroid was wonky, and I didn't know it. Over a year ago, my GP prescribed a low dose of Synthroid because thyroid was a bit slow...apparently this caused thyroid to go too fast and I didn't know that for almost a year). I believe mind and body are one thing and this separation is false, but I miss the connection to my body so much. As a former dancer and occasional gentle movement teacher now, it is particularly hard. I believe in TMS as a kind of self-hypnotism, that we can hypnotize ourselves into anything, and if I could fully believe, maybe I could hypnotize myself into a belief in my ability to heal myself. Just having a hard day.