Day 10 Doubts and ephiphanies.

[Layne]

I have little trouble accepting that TMS is responsible for my GI issues, but the food sensitivities and chronic fatigue are giving me a run for my money. I can get rid of headaches, quell my stomach, talk down my anxiety... but this fatigue! I have tried making a list of all the things that the fatigue has prevented me from doing and I have come up with the thought that maybe it's my subconscious making an excuse to avoid doing things I don't want to do. Like a people-pleasing defense mechanism. Instead of telling someone "No, I'd rather not do this/hang out with you/whatever" I just tell them I am too tired. I also get to leave functions early, control my work schedule, etc... I wonder if it's a mechanism to maintain autonomy?

As far as the food sensitivities are concerned, I had an epiphany. I used to be very overweight (I lost 70 pounds) and am terrified of gaining it back. I know that I don't have my overeating tendencies under control, so I was wondering if perhaps my subconscious developed this mechanism as a way to curb overeating. If I am scared of gaining weight due to overeating, then it would make sense to create reasons why I "can't" eat certain things, right? I think it might also be connected to the fatigue, in that whenever I go to the gym it seems like I need a couple days to recover and then I'm scared of the recovery time and just don't go some days. Up until last June I was going to the gym 5 days a week (that's how I lost the weight initially along with cutting calories). I know now that the gym was one of my avoidance tactics (anxiety) so now I think I am on some level frightened of going to the gym. I KNOW my GI symptoms have had a tendency to flare up around the gym to prevent me from going...

So being scared of the gym, it also makes sense that the fatigue would be another tactic to prevent me from working out as well.

 

[Lori]

It sounds to me like you want to say no but since you don't (yet), your body says it for you!

I think your epiphany was very interesting and I enjoyed reading about it. And congratulations on RELEASING 70 pounds! Awesome.

 

[Stella]

I have had GI symptoms for 25 years. i took Nexium for years then got concerned about my body and bones so stopped. i switched to apple cider vinegar and drank it for years because it turns alkaline in the body. It worked beautifully. Then I started reading Sarno. Then I found the wiki.

I went through a transition period of refux problems probably 2 months ago when I stopped the vinegar. I pushed the reflux out of my body with my mind which resulted in alot of belching...yeah. But no reflux.

I can eat or drink anything now. I did have a minor set back in a big conflict with my sister. I could feel it building up in my chest but I used my mind to push it out... it worked.

You can do this too.

 

[Layne]

Do either of you lovely ladies know of anyone here who has suffered from chronic fatigue and cognitive issues? Could there be a physical cause for foggy brain, poor memory, slow reaction time, etc...? Do I need to see a Dr. before addressing those things as TMS?

 

[Stella]

Dr. Schubiner wrote Unlearn your Pain. He has a fabulous internet site plus his own program. I believe he did a test on fibermyalgia (sp) which showed a positive outcome using TMS approach. I don't believe I have specifically seen anything on chronic fatigue. I will look in my books. Are you on any prescriptions that maybe causing the foggy brain stuff? I have not read about anything on this either. Wouldn't be surprised if it falls into the TMS symptoms too but nothing concrete that I have seen. When symptoms fall into the "unexplainable" category I become very suspicious.
Sandy

 

[BruceMC]

At the close of the 19th century, CFS became so fashionable a symptom that it entered into the world of art, literature and drama. The plays of the Belgian symbolist, Emile Maeterlink, are filled with faint disembodied souls too languid to do much of anything but sigh. In 1889, the novelist J.K. Huysmans wrote a book called A Rebours ('Against the Grain') in which the central character, Des Esseintes, became so world weary that he retired to a castle in the woods to the south of Paris where he spent all day sleeping while being waited on by servants who walked around in padded slippers so they wouldn't disturb him. In other words, CFS is very, very subjective and mental. Some have said that the whole age was tired of scientific progress and was awaiting the call to arms at the start of WWI in 1914. Possibly! Obviously, not all of the people afflicted with CFS in 1890 were really physically ill. Like so many PPD symptoms, CFS spreads like an epidemic through a susceptible population once there is an example present for people to emulate. It does sound as though your fatigue has the underlying psychological purpose of preventing you from going to the gym. Avoidance behavior! Just like this strange cold, or cold symptoms, I am just getting over. Interesting, though, that they began on January 26th, on exactly the same date my mother died in 2001. Those are the kinds of symbolic associations you need to make to undo the conditioning surrounding your CFS symptoms I would suggest. Young ladies used to faint all the time too.

 

[Layne]

Wow thank you!!!
The fatigue started when I did HCG to lose the last little bit of weight I had put back on. It requires a low calorie diet and it began within the first week of the diet. That was the summer of '11. I had just moved in with my step sister and her daughter, and was out of school for the summer. There was a lot of conflict going on in my family because of some miscommunication in regards to whether or not I would be watching my niece at all... Long story short, I actually stood up for myself against my step mom, something I have never been able to do. I was literally couch bound for the whole 30 or so days of the diet and the fatigue has stuck with me ever since though it has gotten TONS better. At the same time that I started the diet, the IBS got markedly better so I'm wondering if it's just a replacement symptom that stuck with me.
I am very healthy. My friend said I'm either the healthiest sick person or the sickest healthy person he's ever known. Like I've mentioned in other posts, my hormones are a little off and hypoglycemia, but other than that, everything is good. I eat very healthy, exercise (when I can, and I serve so I'm walking several miles every shift), meditate, and supplement.

Do I need to look deeper into what was going on at the outset of the fatigue? What about the cognitive stuff? I have a very intense need to be smart and to impress, so I was thinking maybe the foggy brain/memory issues are to get me to pay attention to and figure out what it is I am feeling in regards to that?

 

[Jilly]

Young ladies used to faint all the time too.

This is so true ! It really was a fad to faint when emotional issues became to over whelming. Once I was knocked off my feet by a hang glider that went out of control during a landing.

A really hansom man scooped me up, held me in his arms .... As he gazed deep into my eyes and held me close ... he asked ... "Are you ok ?" ...
I wasn't sure what happened ... (be still my heart !) It felt GREAT ! LOL ! I forgot all about getting knocked off my feet by the hang glider !

P.S. I did not faint on command...there truly was a collision, but I can see the benefits of this tactic used back in the days, even if it was subconscious or a fad.