I feel like I am doing such a bad job at not repressing my feelings. It’s like I can feel myself doing it afterwards. And that makes me feel so hopeless. My stomach is hurting and has been off and on since Christmas. I thought that I had decided that it was TMS and journaled about and then suddenly it went away. And I thought, yes that is how this is supposed to work. I listened to a podcast with Harold Suchbner and it was like I was cured. And I know that is not how it is supposed to work. That is being outcome dependent. No my stomach hurts again and I don’t know what to do. How do you ignore it or not be so preoccupied with it when you literally feel it all the time. This is not like my hands hurting only when I use them. This is all the time. And I don’t feel safe with my therapist who is helping me with my TMS. I don’t like his approach to helping me feel my feelings. I dread going to see him and I always be feel like he is pushing me and trying to put me in this box that I don’t fit in. I wish there was someone else I could see for this but I don’t know anyone else where I live. I guess I am just losing hope and doubting that this TMS thing is real. And I don’t have someone I trust telling me otherwise.