Day 3 Doubt, Anxiety, and Pain Only Getting Worse

Day 3: Today my young son came into my room this morning and asked me, “Mom, when will your foot be better?” This morning started like many mornings recently. I wake up and then the panic attack comes. I am panicked about the pain – the fear that it will never get better. I am starting to doubt if my foot pain is caused by TMS. What if I tore a ligament? I’ve been to the doctor 3 times and received 3 different diagnoses: tendonitis, capusitis, and neuroma. I wonder if I could just get an ultrasound or MRI to show that there isn’t anything structurally wrong with my foot. I feel like I can’t stand the pain. It is robbing me of my life and scaring my children. Today’s exercise (no pun intended) is journaling about the last time you exercised. At this point I just want to walk without pain. I want to walk without a knee roller or a CAM boot, I just want to be able to walk. I tried to find a psychoanalyst or a counselor in my area that has dealt with TMS and there aren’t any. I also don’t know how to find a doctor in this area. If I could be seen by a doctor who could examine my foot and tell me that I have TMS – then I feel like I would be able to accept the diagnosis and move on. As it is – I want to believe – but I can’t. I have had TMS in my back before – and I KNOW when I have back pain that it’s TMS – which is why I don’t have back pain. But I just can’t believe it about my foot. Every time I walk on it I have pain and it’s getting worse. I drove yesterday for the first time in a week. Today I am sore. How am I going to get over this? How do you KNOW if you have TMS?

 

Hi, Desi. You know you healed from back pain by believing in TMS. But you can't seem to apply TMS belief to your pain when walking. You may not believe in TMS for that pain until you get an MRI or other medical exam. But even if that showed any structural problem, as Dr. Sarno says, it may not cause pain.

I think part of your foot pain is coming from indecision. You need to decide what next step (pardon the pun) to take.

It's up to you to either get the MRI or other medical exam... OR keep going in the SEProgram to discover emotional reasons for your pain when walking.

I'd do anything to avoid an MRI, so I would stick with the SEProgram and work on believing 100 percent in TMS causing your foot pain. I wouldn't count on a doctor telling you it is caused by TMS. Many doctors still do not believe in the MindBody connection.

As for your son asking about your health, maybe fib a little and say it's improving, but slowly. Tell him not to worry about it, that you're going to be okay soon. I think you will be, if you believe 100 percent in TMS.

 

Hi Desi,

I used Dr Sarno's work to overcome terrible foot pain which lasted for several years. I was scheduled for surgery, and had several physicians ready to do surgery. I needed reassurance to know that my foot pain was TMS. Your history of knowing that your back pain was TMS is very helpful.

I suggest you write out a few sentences about this experience, your success story, and the barriers you overcame in your doubts, etc. Then read this piece every day. "I doubted my back pain was psychosomatic at first. As I educated myself I _________________" etc.

As you know, pain is very hard to not be afraid of. Work your SEP, and have patience. You did this before.

I wanted to let you know my story, and tell you I went from crutches to climbing mountains.

Andy B

 

Nobody can diagnose you over the internet, but I would just observe that the fact that you received three different diagnoses suggests you may not have any clear and obvious injury/structural issue, and doctors are just defaulting to their pet theories. I went through a lot of that with a knee problem.

 

Hi Andy! I read your story which was incredibly uplifting! Thank you! I wanted to ask: did your foot swell? And if so, at what point did the swelling recede? After your pain started to go away? Prior to your pain going away? How long did it take you to get off of crutches and be able to walk again?

 

Hi Desi,

My foot did not swell. There have been other discussions on this site regarding people's foot pain which included swelling -as well as other body parts which swelled.

I was able to walk during the pain, but used crutches to take the weight off the foot, because of the conditioning I had that walking hurt my feet.

My pain was remarkably reduced in one incident, then reduced from there over time for a couple of months as I added activity. I would walk a little each day, extending this distance over time. For me, I did not have to "push against the pain," with my activity, but others' stories and approaches do this with success.

Here is an article I wrote about my first breakthrough, which you might enjoy:

http://www.tmspainrelief.com/doubts-about-dr-sarnos-work/ (Doubts about Dr. Sarno's Work | TMS Pain Relief with Andy Bayliss)

Desi, each person must patiently find their own way in this. I send my support.

Andy B