@Davideus85, your emotional health - including happiness, comfort, and interests - is important and comes first. Have you tried cognitive behavioral therapy, prescribed medications, or anything else? Sometimes some of us need to focus on those resources before doing TMS work. I had a similar experience at the ER years ago. They debated what they would do with me, but ultimately decided to let me go and referred me to Mayo Clinic (in case I did indeed have an undiagnosed disease - which I do have Ehlers-Danlos but mind-body symptoms really were the culprit behind my pain). However, when I got to Mayo, my mental health was considered a top priority and they wanted me to talk to a therapist, go on a medication, and start thinking about therapists back home. Your brain isn’t doing any crazy shit - you’re just in a lot of emotional distress and you deserve to have that be addressed and managed.