robertmiller
New Member
Hello,
About one year ago I did the entire structured educational program for TMS and it worked. On day 3, I took a yoga class a noticed for the first, that I could remember, I had no shoulder or upper back pain during class. It felt so freeing that I cried during class. I could now reach both of my arms well over my head and stay in a "downward dog" for a much lengthier period of time unrestricted by pain. I could also take cycling classes and lift 5lb weights while riding the bike with no shoulder pain. (These are the heaviest weights they offer during the class.) Running felt easier - no tension in my back. I got faster. And at the gym, I was lifting 60lb dumbells to workout my chest, something I hadn't done since early college. I'm 35 years old.
Over the past year, I have had only small occurrences of upper back pain again. The pain usually comes with muscle spasms in my upper back, neck, and the sides of my torso. Sometimes it makes my fingers tingle, and others it's accompanied by bubbles in my stomach. (Ulcer? Unclear.) Said simpler, my symptoms are similar to most of the stories I've read here on the TMS Forum.
Over the past two weeks, my back pain came back. I decided to write this forum post because last night the pain reached a level it hadn't reached in over a year. I'm not worried. I know I have TMS. It's 100% clear to me that I'm resisting something. What I want to accomplish in doing this program again is to determine what I'm resisting! The first time I did the program I didn't post in this forum at all. I did all of the journal exercises, and I had already been a daily meditator for over 5 years. Perhaps public posts will take my TMS journey to another level and help others too.
It's fascinating to me how, when the pain comes back, I can find myself buying back into that old story of "I have back pain. Oh, my back is so bad. I'm going to end up just like my father and grandfather." (Both who suffered from back pain and other chronic illnesses, including cancer.) And how, even writing this post, I am regaining the awareness that my pain is the result of that old story itself. That plus other childhood stories and the related repressed emotions. It's all led to my own version of perfectionism. Trying to be perfect is infuriating.
Of note, and to be clear, I go to the doctor for regular check-ups. I eat a healthy diet. Considering my family's history, I take the necessary precautions that Western medicine would prescribe. And, having said all that, I'm convinced my family's history of back pain is likely caused by repressed emotions too. My grandfather and I have discussed at length the power of the mind on his own healing journey, and how none of the back pain prescription - from drugs to chiropractic to PT - ever worked. When I sent him Dr. Sarno's book last year, he said he wished he had come across it earlier in his life. Luckily my grandfather is mentally strong as is. He beat cancer at 73 and is now 90 years old. He gets around great and his mind is still quick.
I have TMS. It's clear. Each time I've journaled and meditated my way through something I've been resisting, the back pain goes away like magic. If you've just started this journey, keep going. Read the success stories. Most important for my recovery was the journal entries.
If anyone has any insight into pain coming back and revisiting this program please share!
About one year ago I did the entire structured educational program for TMS and it worked. On day 3, I took a yoga class a noticed for the first, that I could remember, I had no shoulder or upper back pain during class. It felt so freeing that I cried during class. I could now reach both of my arms well over my head and stay in a "downward dog" for a much lengthier period of time unrestricted by pain. I could also take cycling classes and lift 5lb weights while riding the bike with no shoulder pain. (These are the heaviest weights they offer during the class.) Running felt easier - no tension in my back. I got faster. And at the gym, I was lifting 60lb dumbells to workout my chest, something I hadn't done since early college. I'm 35 years old.
Over the past year, I have had only small occurrences of upper back pain again. The pain usually comes with muscle spasms in my upper back, neck, and the sides of my torso. Sometimes it makes my fingers tingle, and others it's accompanied by bubbles in my stomach. (Ulcer? Unclear.) Said simpler, my symptoms are similar to most of the stories I've read here on the TMS Forum.
Over the past two weeks, my back pain came back. I decided to write this forum post because last night the pain reached a level it hadn't reached in over a year. I'm not worried. I know I have TMS. It's 100% clear to me that I'm resisting something. What I want to accomplish in doing this program again is to determine what I'm resisting! The first time I did the program I didn't post in this forum at all. I did all of the journal exercises, and I had already been a daily meditator for over 5 years. Perhaps public posts will take my TMS journey to another level and help others too.
It's fascinating to me how, when the pain comes back, I can find myself buying back into that old story of "I have back pain. Oh, my back is so bad. I'm going to end up just like my father and grandfather." (Both who suffered from back pain and other chronic illnesses, including cancer.) And how, even writing this post, I am regaining the awareness that my pain is the result of that old story itself. That plus other childhood stories and the related repressed emotions. It's all led to my own version of perfectionism. Trying to be perfect is infuriating.
Of note, and to be clear, I go to the doctor for regular check-ups. I eat a healthy diet. Considering my family's history, I take the necessary precautions that Western medicine would prescribe. And, having said all that, I'm convinced my family's history of back pain is likely caused by repressed emotions too. My grandfather and I have discussed at length the power of the mind on his own healing journey, and how none of the back pain prescription - from drugs to chiropractic to PT - ever worked. When I sent him Dr. Sarno's book last year, he said he wished he had come across it earlier in his life. Luckily my grandfather is mentally strong as is. He beat cancer at 73 and is now 90 years old. He gets around great and his mind is still quick.
I have TMS. It's clear. Each time I've journaled and meditated my way through something I've been resisting, the back pain goes away like magic. If you've just started this journey, keep going. Read the success stories. Most important for my recovery was the journal entries.
If anyone has any insight into pain coming back and revisiting this program please share!
