Day 15 Doing better

I started journaling and keeping track of my emotions over the past two weeks. Yes, part of my TMS relapse was partly due to my sister returning home, her not taking responsibility for her actions, but there are other factors as well. My husband lost his job 4 days after my uncle's funeral that is part of it, me being the breadwinner, now, and my jury service on a murder trial that I have been on are also part of it. The jury service is now over, and my peroneal tendon/ foot pain is 85% gone. (I forced myself to wear heels to prove my tendon/foot problem was TMS)

The trial was difficult, it involved a wrong place, wrong time scenario, without going into exact detail there was no happy ending. One 20 year dead, another serving time on voluntary manslaughter along with other charges. Two families losing children. I believe the stress of seeing unpleasant pictures, video, listening to numerous testimonies from some shady individuals, caused me to flare up.

As hard as it was to serve, I found that jury service was rewarding. Having to apply the law and to have to keep emotions out it, we came out with the outcome that the defense wanted. That one lawyer made me find a new respect for public defense. If I ever run into this attorney, I plan on thanking her for the experience.

 

Sorry for all the stressors you're facing, Aces. It's great that you can feel grateful for the jury duty experience, despite the stress it provided.
Part of what we learn from the SEP is to feel the emotions rather than have our SubC divert the feelings into physical pain. It sounds like you've made a good start with your journaling.
Keep on keeping on!

 

Hi Gigi,
Thank you so much for replying. I plan on writing about the whole experience and changing the names of people and places. I wish the court let us keep our notes. If I can get a plan together I might even have a novel.

I am off the gym this morning and then a massage. I am so tense, not from the TMS, but just the whole experience. Tomorrow I will be going back to work after being on trial a month.

The one wish I have is to meet that defense lawyer, she was kind compassionate and respectful towards the prosecutor and his witnesses. The prosecutor was so rude. Uggghhh