Does this sound like TMS?

I'm 33, male. Since 2007, I really started battling with anxiety, like bad.

It happened shortly after my grandmother died, and my wife and I just had our 1st child. Also, my boss was super mean, and a control freak. She'd call me late at night, telling me all my flaws etc. Back then, I thought this was normal behavior of a boss, because I used to know her before she was my boss. She was my friends mom. She was slowly, I feel, taking my confidence away.

Anyways, since 2007, I've been on and off medication. I used ativan a lot through those years. I finally developed an ativan tolerance. I was going through tolerance withdrawal without knowing it. It scared me to death. I had to go see a specialist, and he helped me ween off of my ativan over 2 months.

He gave me Remeron (Mirtazapine) to help with the withdrawals. It helped a lot. I actually liked the way Remeron made me feel. It gave me a strong appetite, which I lacked with having generalized anxiety, and it also helped me sleep good, and made me feel extra creative.

I knew though, that I did not want to be on medicine anymore. So I slowly weened off and have not been on any medication since 2013.

I suffered from some bouts of anxiety, that was bad here and there, but I was seeing a therapist, and I felt like I was recovering, and actually getting through anxiety without medication, for ONCE!

In 2014 I started working out. I was running every single day, and doing pushups, situps etc. It was a good routine.

Then all of a sudden in July of 2014, I noticed, while I was mentally feeling great, I noticed when I got an erection, it would hurt. My erection actually hurt. I could not figure it out.

I didnt worry about it at first, and thought maybe I pulled a ligament during sex or something.

2 weeks went by, and I still had erection pain, it was making me anxious at this point, so I went to the Dr..

My Dr. said he was not concerned, but said to keep an eye on it.

That very night, I went home and noticed I felt like I had to pee 24/7. My bladder HURT so bad! It felt as if I were holding my pee for hours, yet when I peed, there was no pee left in me.

I was also dribbling a lot after peeing in my boxer shorts. I even noticed my penis was cold and smaller.

I flipped out, and went STRAIGHT back to the Dr. the next morning. He was confused. He tested me for a UTI etc. and everything came back normal.

Just to be safe, he gave me an antibiotic to take for a week. I took the antibiotic with no change at all. I was in pain every second of the day. My bladder hurt so bad, I was scared my Dr. wasnt taking me seriously.

After 1 week, he called me, and was STUMPED that my bladder symptoms were continuing. He had me come into his office. He checked my prostate and said it felt perfect.

He then asked me, "do you happen to have any lower back pain?", I said "Now that you mention it, yes! I've been getting out of bed and stretching my lower back. It feels so TIGHT."

He said "I think you have tight lower back muscles that are pressing on nerves, sending false signals to your bladder, and also that would explain your erection pain as well." He recommended a massage.

Luckily my brother JUST graduated massage therapy school. He worked on me for almost 2 hours. I cried in tears after my first massage. It was a strange experience. TONS of emotions just poured out.

The bladder pain slowly went away, but the lower back pain kept coming back. I just got used to it in a sad way. Sitting hurt, walking felt a bit better. Finally I got so sick of it, I went back to my Dr. and he finally did an X-ray. The only thing the x-ray tech said was that I was born with an extra vertebrae, but that is actually common, and there was nothing wrong with my back indicating any pain. So I was clear.

My Dr. suggested massage still etc.

Slowly I started getting pain in between my shoulder blades, and traps/middle back. I could barely stand up straight, or type at my computer. It hurt so bad. I had to get a lot of massages again.

My brother said I had trigger points in my shoulder blades. He kept working on me, and then it finally diminished...

This cycle has been going on for 2 years now. I usually wake up with my lower back joints (feels like its in the sacrum) stiff as a rock, until I get moving, and my muscle knots in my shoulder blades are still bad. Sometimes I can be pain free.

But just a few months ago was the worst. I was hit with fatigue like crazy for 3 weeks, my muscles hurt EVERYWHERE. My forearms, my knee joints, elbow joints, low back etc. I FREAKED OUT. I had NO IDEA what was wrong with me.

My anxiety spiked so high. I went to another doctor who did a Lymes test, and it came out clean. She also did a Epstien Barr Virus test and it did show high numbers, but my Dr. told me that everybody has that in their blood stream, once they are an adult. I did some research, and it is true. We are all exposed to it at least once in our lives, whether we get sick or not.

At this point, I was so confused... my Dr. keeps telling me NOTHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH YOU. Yet, why all this pain??

Then I asked him "could this be my bodies new way of having anxiety? could it be settling in my muscles etc.?" he said "Yes. It can.".

I'm writing now b/c I'm still having issues... I want this SO bad to go away.

I feared fibromyalgia but my brother, chiro and dr. don't really think so. I don't have tender points, except when my muscle knots flare up, they can be tender. But generally speaking, I do not have ANY tender points at all etc. I don't have the bladder issues anymore, but ever since that first episode 2 years ago, at the end of my pee, I feel like I have to force really hard to get that last bit of pee out of me. As in that pushing muscle is weak or something. My Dr. is not concerned. I hate this.

Should I got back on a short term antidepressant and see if it eliminates my pain?

Does this sound like TSM with my past history of anxiety disorder?? Sorry so long!! I can't wait to get pointed in the right direction. Thanks!

 

Sounds like TMS. Ask your doc about Flomax for your urinary urgency issues for symptomatic relief. Short term use of mild anti-depressants have been found helpful for TMS. Not everyone with TMS exhibits the tender points. Your doctors can't find anything structurally wrong, consider yourself lucky they aren't cutting you and fleecing your wallet. Modern medicine is good at dx'ing real structural issues--and sometimes dx'ing benign normal anomalies as structural causes when there is nothing wrong. If you need more reinforcement of a TMS dx see a TMS physician. See the Rahe-Holmes list of life stressors that cause TMS to id what may be causing TMS if that's what you have--I'm a tennis player not a doc, TMS docs won't dx you without seeing you in person. But from what you and your docs have said...

 

Thanks for writing back. I don't have the urgency issue anymore. That was my first symptom 2 years ago with erection pain. Then it turned into low back pain.

Sometimes I get the erection pain, but not very much. It HAS to do with tight muscles in my pelvis, I JUST KNOW IT.

Sometimes my anxiety just SPIKES b/c I just can't fathom all this pain is from underlying anxiety or TMS. But since I've had anxiety in the past... that should be a good indicator, right?

I have to call my Dr. every once in a while just for reassurance that NOTHING is wrong with me. He's such a GOOD Dr.. He tells me all the time he's 200% there is nothing wrong with me.

I wanted an MRI last year, but my Dr. would not let me. haha. He's cool like that. He cares about me so much, he literally knows an MRI will not show anything with the symptoms I'm presenting. I respect him for that.

 

I bought the online book, Healing Back Pain, and It says "that the only muscles affected by TMS is in the neck, all back and butt". Is that true?

 

What page is that on? That doesn't sound accurate.

 

Page 6. "The only muscles in the body that are susceptible to TMS are those in the back of the neck, the entire back, and the buttocks, known collectively as postural muscles."

I'm reading further into the book, and seems as if it can expand, but the source usually starts in the neck, shoulders, back, and pelvis.

 

This was in his second book, although many recommend this book, I believe this information is now out of date. During the course of Dr. Sarno's clinical career, he expanded on TMS theory to include an almost infinite number of conditions. This is reflected in the change of the acronym TMS, Tension Myositis syndrome, pertaining to muscles, to TMS-the MINDBODY SYNDROME. Dr. Sarno has written two newer books that include many new conditions in them.

 

Which book should I buy?? I want a book that has homework. Thanks!

 

Steve Ozanich's book is the most up to date and comprehensive, "THE GREAT PAIN DECEPTION". There are others that have "homework", maybe someone can recommend one. To me the "homework" is really just understanding the theory. You just need to change your way of thinking about how TMS pain is created.

 

Unlearn your pain by Howard schubiner has theory and a quite involved 28 day workbook. Has helped me a lot. Takes a lot longer than 28 days to do.

 

cnote - I want to commend you for your honesty and openness! That's half the battle.

Your symptoms really sound like TMS to me. I think you would benefit greatly from studying and applying the things that Dr. Sarno teaches. I would also recommend the other authors mentioned, Dr. Howard Schubiner and Steve Ozanich.

 

SteveO's book:

https://www.amazon.com/Great-Pain-Deception-Faulty-Medical/dp/0615462219 (The Great Pain Deception: Faulty Medical Advice Is Making Us Worse: Steven Ray Ozanich: 9780615462219: Amazon.com: Books)