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Does "narcissistic rage" TMS sufferers

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by johnnieboy, May 18, 2021.

  1. johnnieboy

    johnnieboy Newcomer

    This is all new to me, but I have see enough to suspect my chronic pelvic pain/tightness is from this. Maybe I should read the book first. Still, I first want to get some quick feedback on something from someone who is very experienced with TMS. I came across a few sites that said Dr. Sarno pointed out that "narcissistic rage" is something commonly associated with TMS. Does this mean if I have TMS that I have Narcissistic Personality Disorder or tendencies? Again, I want to read more, but I am getting paranoid about this. I am dreading to find that out, but at the same time have to know. I told my wife about TMS. She thinks it makes sense. Is she going to read material that will tell her I am a narcissist? Thanks!
  2. banjoman

    banjoman New Member

    Brilliant video on pelvic pain. From which I have 100% healed FYI

    read the books!!
  3. johnnieboy

    johnnieboy Newcomer

    Thank you so much! I will check it out.
  4. AnonymousNick

    AnonymousNick Peer Supporter

    This was one of the confusing things I experienced when first reading Sarno. I was like, "What? My father is the narcissist, not me!" :) But I think what he means is that we all have an instinct for self-preservation that the "goodist" can actually end up denying, which is enraging to the unconscious primitive mind that is concerned only with its own needs and survival. I think the mere fact that you are concerned about this possibility means that you are not going to find out you are a toxic narcissist. Just a normal human who has to have their own needs met. Placing the oxygen mask on yourself before assisting others is not selfishness. Good luck!
    Ellen, JanAtheCPA and Sita like this.
  5. Sita

    Sita Well known member

    No, it's not selfishness. It's just common sense.
    AnonymousNick likes this.
  6. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I had to study Narcissistic PD to get over a very painful relationship I was in. When I started reading about it I asked the same question. "Maybe I have this and don't know?". I even asked a counselor. He told me that anybody who ponders that question is definitely NOT because true NPD people never ask themselves that question.

    ALL of us have some Narcissistic traits. People with TMS tend to dismiss them or paint them over with good intentions and 'adult behavior'. Sarno explains it pretty good in the psychology chapter of healing back pain.

    example. I am at work. The guy I am working with keeps making mistakes and setting us back on our schedule... I want to unload on him. But I also want to be a 'nice guy' and be liked (by everyone)
    I may or may not be aware of that need, but the RAGE is about MY fear of people finding out that I am incompetent, not about any of the high-minded shit I spew about our clients and keeping costs down and integrity... it's all about how I LOOK, which I suppose is a form of Narcy, but.... I am unconscious of it.
    As I learn that symptoms are there to distract me from it, the awareness disables their effectiveness and the pain (or whatever) leaves. Sounds simple, but takes a little digesting and sometimes work.
    TrustIt, backhand, Sita and 1 other person like this.
  7. FredAmir

    FredAmir Well known member

    We all can be selfish and selfless. What we need is to find a balance. Otherwise, when we keep giving selflessly there is a part of us that will resent it at a deep level, at an unconscious/subconscious level.

    We do that long enough the resentment, anger, and rage build up to create reduction of blood flow and TMS symptoms.

    so if you are constantly giving in a relationship as a spouse, an adult child, a parent, an employee, a friend, and so on eventually this lack of balance will show up in your body or in your behavior. You may end up with back and neck pain. You may feel stressed or short tempered. You may feel anxious or depressed and so on.

    And if you were raised to become a perfectionist and self-critical, you will feel acts of self-care is a sign of being selfish or, worse, narcissistic.

    That how I was until I realized it was causing me to be completely disabled with pain and numbness all over my body. That’s when I realized it was time to learn new concepts and skills and transform my internal communication and perception as well as external ones.
    That was 28 years ago. TMS left and never came back.

    So don’t let fears and doubts tighten you. Keep reading and learning about TMS and yourself. Future is bright.
    Baseball65, Sita and AnonymousNick like this.
  8. Sita

    Sita Well known member


    What did you do to transform your internal/external communication and perceptions? I'm really interested.

    What I started to do is:
    - to speak my mind more often even if this might irritate someone or I might make a not so nice impression on them. I surprised some people around but they wanted to take advantage of me and this made me angry inside plus pain;
    - started to say "no" a lot more often, comparing to the past without being mean, just in a polite and natural way;
    - basically not carrying as much as before...letting go of the control level. I can't control the impression that I make on people around anyway so...why not let go and relax about this matter?

  9. FredAmir

    FredAmir Well known member

    Hi Sita,

    What you are doing to deal with external source of your anger and rage is great. Keep doing them. Of course, there are times that you may end up overdoing a bit (I know I did when I first started not to take it anymore) but you will figure it out over time.

    Regrading "internal/external communication and perceptions:" this is a big topic. Here I briefly cover the internal ones because by doing so you grow and transform yourself to become stronger and more resilient in the face of whatever causes you TMS.

    Once you become stronger internally handling external issues are much easier and you probably know people like that who are calm, cool, and collected in the face of problems, stress, and tension.

    Do you ever ask yourself, “Why does this always happen to me?” or think, "“If that had not happened, this would not have!” And how about imagining the worst-case scenario when something goes wrong, a loved one is late, or you are boarding an airplane? These are among the thoughts that come to mind when you have negative mental and emotional habits, such as worrying, negative thought patterns, self-pity, and more. Such negative thought and emotional habits create a massive amount of internal tension that can lead to TMS, anxiety, depression, and insomnia as well as make it difficult to deal with external issues. And they are very common among those experiencing TMS.

    I have seen it in my readers and clients for more than 25 years. As destructive as these habits are, they are just habits. Most were formed in our childhood and, just like with any habit, with consistent daily steps they can be changed into positive, constructive ones and lead to living much happier.

    To explain the steps will make this a very long post. However, in my new book Vanquish Stress: Five Proven Steps to Finally Conquer Stress, Tension, Worry, Anxiety, and Depression So That You Can Live Happy, Healthy, and Pain-Free I explain in detail how you can change your internal communication and perceptions so that you get mentally and emotionally stronger and more resilient.

    In this excerpt you can learn more about my method.

    If you need more clarification, let me know.
    Sita likes this.

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