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Does having structural abnormalities then rule out TMS ?

newarrior

Peer Supporter
Many of my health challenges have had structural abnormalities

Hearing loss/tinnitus

Benign Prostate Hypertrophy

Cataracts

Heart valve disease (just got an artificial heart valve last year)

Arthritis-I was diagnosed with arthritis in all my fingers and toes in 2020--now my knees also show arthritis.

Regards
 
Some are, some aren’t. The obsession, worry and hyperfocus with any symptom is. Meaning that you can have say cataracts, which can change your lifestyle but if it becomes such a burden of suffering, then there is most likely TMS at play.
I believe cataracts, the hypertrophy, and hearing loss and most likely heart valve issues are not TmS - although the valve problems could be exasperated by stress, it’s more commonly a lifestyle illness that usually presents with aging and can be occasionally congenital. There are various forms of arthritis, common with aging and I see osteoarthritis commonly in friends with TMS. I myself was diagnosed with it showing up in imaging and 5 years later magically disappearing in that area. I have a finger that likes to get cranky every once and awhile but it doesn’t loom large in my life.

I think it’s important to ask yourself how you are doing emotionally with aging. What might better support you where you are at emotionally with it eg. Are you surrounded by people and things that make your life satisfactory? What would you change if you could? Do you have an internal feeling of safety, of balance, and externally are your needs met? If so, you might look at where there is stress that you sometimes don’t acknowledge?
Lastly, you might ask why you find a need to separate what is “medical” from what is TMS? Both have mind and body components and both benefit from doing the emotional work, both usually have a fear basis.
 
I am 63, single, live alone, facing future heart surgeries, live overseas, no living family terrified to go into old age alone
wonder how I will care for myself and being increasingly cut off from people

By the way I recovered well from heart valve replacement which was just 8 months ago

I did it as a cash patient in Bangkok where I live since 2017
 
Well, you have a lot to consider. If you are feeling a lack of safety in where you are at, you might try considering choices you have and finding your power within those.
What would being closer to family mean?
What does being “alone” mean to you eg. your relationships and can you make changes
Where does this “being increasingly cut off from people” come into play and how could that change?

I get the sense of perceived current or future helplessness, perhaps a sense of victimization - lack of power over your situation. Sometimes that is real, sometimes it is perceived. Either way, it comes with some heavy emotions. I would imagine fear, loneliness, and perhaps subconcious rage.
Have you tried writing about it? That can help route out some emotions and begin to guide you - help you sort things out.
 
I have no family. They are all dead. There was only 5 us. I am never married no kids.

Right now my safest choice is to stay in Thailand

I am planning to pay professionals to take care of me as I age; easier in Thailand

I hope to make another scouting trip to the USA
 
Cut off from people means my disabilities limit my ability connect with others

I do journal, see a therapist, take anti depressants
 
“My disabilities limit me”

That is a very self-victimizing statement. It’s a clear sign you do not view any of the things you’ve mentioned as TMS. That isn’t to say that you don’t have challenges, but it sounds like you suffer.
Perhaps there are better options for you? Since you are an expat in a country that has many aging expat’s, you might ask that community to help you explore options to find ways to engage with people who have similar interests. sounds like you’ve always been a guy to after what you want. Now that you are feeling better with your heart health, perhaps you are ready to find out what your spiritual heart is ready to go after next. Perhaps there are new practices eg. Meditation that can help guide you.
 
Agree with everything @Cactusflower has beautifully written above.

It sounds to me like you have put yourself in a very confining box. There are other people your age who feel similarly and who you could socialize with. I've also been dealing with aging and isolation in recent years. I started a community organization and started with just getting together for walking twice a week. Now we are doing much more and are a supportive group of friends. Focus on what you can do and move toward that in community with others.
 
You know nothing about me. I have a rich life in Asia. I just reported your comment to the administrators. I have a rich full life in Asia. You know nothing about me. I have been to 20 countries on 3 continents and moved to back an actor in Hollywood when I was 43. I have traveled out of Bangkok over 20x since my heart surgery 8 months ago. I am going to Singapore next week.
 
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Agree with everything @Cactusflower has beautifully written above.

It sounds to me like you have put yourself in a very confining box. There are other people your age who feel similarly and who you could socialize with. I've also been dealing with aging and isolation in recent years. I started a community organization and started with just getting together for walking twice a week. Now we are doing much more and are a supportive group of friends. Focus on what you can do and move toward that in community with others.


I left the USA alone at age 54 to move to Asia. How is that confining?. I create community here in Bangkok, Thailand.
 
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I have no family. They are all dead. There was only 5 us. I am never married no kids.

Right now my safest choice is to stay in Thailand

I am planning to pay professionals to take care of me as I age; easier in Thailand
You know nothing about me. I have a rich life in Asia. I just reported your comment to the administrators. I have a rich full life in Asia.

You just contradicted yourself in your own thread. Reporting someone when you asked for advice is quite bold. Remember TMS is about emotions and how we are dealing with life. Not the physical symptoms.
 
Not bold. Someone judging me when they know nothing about me. I was not asking for advice. Just feedback/thoughts
 
. I just reported your comment to the administrators.
Since you decided to make that public, I'd better let our participants know that I rejected your report.

FYI, the Report function in most, if not all, free public forums is for trolls and spammers. And anyone who reveals spoilers, but there are no spoilers here. This forum is devoted to the emotional brain mechanism we call TMS, and every individual controls the ending to their own TMS story.

And let's be clear: on this forum, there is no essential difference between advice and feedback and thoughts. Ask for any one of these, and you'll get all three in varying forms and doses. That's the way it is.
 
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