Doctor Comments

So I had to go to my lung doc for a chest infection on Thursday. She is actually the nurse practitioner but equally as qualified as my doctor. We talked about antibiotics and I told her about the podiatrist saying the antibiotics caused my nerve damage in my feet.

She said that is a real thing that happens but seeing it before my symptoms did not sound like nerve damage in any way at all.

I feel like in a way I finally got validation from a doctor I don't have nerve damage. She seemed to think that being so sedentary after my surgery and my weight gain are factors along with some psychosomatic (TMS) portions.

So since that day, my feet have hurt terribly and the pain is changing. They don't hurt when I am barefoot which is what started this crap. Now its just in shoes after I walk for awhile. I started to get sore balls of the foot and these little feelings like rocks in my shoe and jolts into my toes. All things I have read online and that are in my subconscious.

Is my TMS making a last stand?

 

I believe so, think psychological whenever the pain is there and go about your day. It is really trying to get your attention more now than ever. Have faith my friend and maybe go walking/hiking. These things move around to keep the fear going. If we just live, it will lose its hold. Joseph

 

I feel the need to ask my wife for some reassurance today and all she does is get miffed and say you know its all in your head. I never have been able to put my finger on my repressed emotions but I am beginning to wonder if my wife isn't to blame. My TMS did start after we had our baby and she totally changed. Baby became #1 and me #2, maybe #3.

7 years later and she still has no patience with my TMS or for that matter anytime I am sick. I had a 102.00 fever Thursday night and she never offered to take our son to soccer practice. She just let me do it.

She cleans the house (complains), cooks for me and does our laundry but I work long hours and make 60% more than she does. All the men in her German family work and never complain about health. They are all however sick and keep it to themselves and are in a terrible mood most of the time but no one cares. That is how it has been. I however am suppose to be rainbows and sunshine all days or I get snapped at.

I think I just want to hear her say, honey I know you are struggling inside so lets work together and get you better. I never got married until 30 because I saw these same flaws in others and walked. When I married her she was a very different person than she was after our son.

My son is the light of my day and so fragile as he is so loving and caring. Everytime I start to think about life without her I think of that poor boy in a broken home.

This could be a randon thought of the day.

I'm trapped in the city, in a suburb with no land. I want to be in the country with some land so I can hunt and fish and raise my son the way I was raised. If I bring that topic up thats a fight..never a well lets discuss that and see if we can compromise.

Is that making the balls of my feet feel like they have little jolts and pebbles and bruises? Dunno.

 

I think my comments from Monday might have been me searching in my heightened anxiety state. My feet bother me and hurt somewhat. I know what brings on the anxiety, panic, depression and fear. I worry about having it forever and it getting worse to the point that I am debilitated. I'm so worried it won't ever go away and could be real nerve damage.

 

Pingman, I am sorry you don't have the support that you should. Please lean on members of this site for that. I am fortunate to have a wife that not only lead me to TMS, but is a great support for me. Life pressures with children can create great internal rage for having to take care of them etc. This is a normal feeling, however, may be causing conflict within you. I think if you write/type out your life stress, it may be helpful. I have done this and then just delete it when I am done. Be honest and write whatever comes to mind. I would also highly recommend staying away from google regarding your symptoms. This has never been good for me. You have to believe that this is TMS in play 100%. You have healed before and you will again friend.
Joseph