Day 16 Do you talk about TMS??

MellieV

MellieV

Peer Supporter
I thought the "Question to ponder" for today was an interesting one - Have you told anyone about your condition and TMS? My answer is basically no, I don't. Besides my husband and best friend, I really don't think anyone else would understand. I really don't even think my husband understands, even though he is supportive of whatever will work for me. I would probably get scolded for not taking medicine, and who knows what else. A lot of people would probably think I'm nuts, I would assume, so I am just keeping it to myself. I wonder if this way of thinking contributes to the problem? I don't know.
I know I am glad to have this open forum to read and share on about it.
 
Hi, Mellie. I am an 86 year old bachelor, and have told only a few people about my severe back pain healing through TMS knowledge. The few I have told about TMS look like they agree with the MindBody philosophy, but others look glassy-eyed. Some things are best kept to themselves, like religion and politics. I wouldn't stress that you can't convince others about TMS. The important thing is to believe it yourself, and it seems that you do. Keep following the program and discover those emotions causing your pain. Be glad your husband supports your TMS journey. You don't have to give him or anyone a daily progress report, but feel free to post about it in this forum. We're with you 100 percent.
 
I brought it up to my husband, as he suffers from fibromyalgia. I know he has a lot of anxiety and I wanted him to read the books. It's been over a month and he's not showing much interest. I left Dr. Sarno's book out for him when he was off one week, and I don't think he looked at it. I started the video for him to watch and he watched a bit of it and then went off to the internet surfing. It didn't resonate with him as it did me.

I am suffering my own pain, so decided, maybe someday he'll look into it, but for now, I'm working on it for myself. When I first mentioned it to him, he thought it meant the pain wasn't real, it was all in your head. When I explained it was real, he just seemed as disinterested and went on with another subject. What's the old saying... Lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink....
 
I see TMS in my husband. He knows the incredible difference it has made in my life. But he is not interested. It is emotionally painful to see people you love in pain and Just not interested.

I play a sport called pickleball. I see participants with TMS. Some I discuss it with by telling my childhood story. Some grab hold and some don't. I am very selective because I have such a fear of rejection.

But an interesting thing happens when I share something deep and painful about myself. The relationship changes. A deep connection is created even with people who don't buy in to TMS. I am no longer putting up this wall of fake impressions.And i have planted a seed.

As Steven Ozanich says "desperation breeds an open mind". That is why we all are here.
 
Stella said:
I see TMS in my husband. He knows the incredible difference it has made in my life. But he is not interested. It is emotionally painful to see people you love in pain and Just not interested.

I play a sport called pickleball. I see participants with TMS. Some I discuss it with by telling my childhood story. Some grab hold and some don't. I am very selective because I have such a fear of rejection.

But an interesting thing happens when I share something deep and painful about myself. The relationship changes. A deep connection is created even with people who don't buy in to TMS. I am no longer putting up this wall of fake impressions.And i have planted a seed.

As Steven Ozanich says "desperation breeds an open mind". That is why we all are here.
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I think I have the fear of rejection too. Sometimes I think that if I find real and true success with this program and overcome TMS, I might have more of a compelling reason to share. Right now, I feel more like I'd have to defend what I'm doing rather than just sharing it. Maybe that's part of my TMS personality, I don't know. That quote about desperation sure is right though.
 
KatheC said:
I brought it up to my husband, as he suffers from fibromyalgia. I know he has a lot of anxiety and I wanted him to read the books. It's been over a month and he's not showing much interest. I left Dr. Sarno's book out for him when he was off one week, and I don't think he looked at it. I started the video for him to watch and he watched a bit of it and then went off to the internet surfing. It didn't resonate with him as it did me.

I am suffering my own pain, so decided, maybe someday he'll look into it, but for now, I'm working on it for myself. When I first mentioned it to him, he thought it meant the pain wasn't real, it was all in your head. When I explained it was real, he just seemed as disinterested and went on with another subject. What's the old saying... Lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink....
Click to expand...

Hi KatheC, that stinks that your husband won't bite right now. I bet it would be great to have a partner to go through this with. That's why I come to this board everyday - to reassure myself I'm not alone in this. Maybe if you start to find success, he'll come around. My husband is still NOT AT ALL sold on the fact that stopping my medicine and taking a break from doctors is a good idea. He thinks it's downright foolish, and tells me I should follow the book if I want, but I should also follow my current medical professionals (pain mgmt doc, orthopedic, etc.). Honestly, I am finding this break from doctor's visits refreshing!
 
Walt Oleksy said:
Hi, Mellie. I am an 86 year old bachelor, and have told only a few people about my severe back pain healing through TMS knowledge. The few I have told about TMS look like they agree with the MindBody philosophy, but others look glassy-eyed. Some things are best kept to themselves, like religion and politics. I wouldn't stress that you can't convince others about TMS. The important thing is to believe it yourself, and it seems that you do. Keep following the program and discover those emotions causing your pain. Be glad your husband supports your TMS journey. You don't have to give him or anyone a daily progress report, but feel free to post about it in this forum. We're with you 100 percent.
Click to expand...

Thanks, Walt! That is exactly what I pop on here everyday!
 
MellieV said:
I think I have the fear of rejection too. Sometimes I think that if I find real and true success with this program and overcome TMS, I might have more of a compelling reason to share. Right now, I feel more like I'd have to defend what I'm doing rather than just sharing it. Maybe that's part of my TMS personality, I don't know. That quote about desperation sure is right though.
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Education and knowledge are the key as Dr. Sarno recommends. Everyday participating in this program will increase your understanding of TMS and yourself.
 
Funny, I did day 16 yesterday too! Day 17 SEP today. I started taking more days off of doing the SEP as it was starting to stress me out a bit (my perfectionism/ocd).

I know TMS is the reason for my pain, but in the past I had tried soooo many different therapies and doctors that my family and friends were aware of, that now I fear that they'll just think this is just another one of my supposed "this is finally it, answers".

I also don't want to put more pressure on myself to get better to prove to them or show them that this is it and that it could help them too. I just want to focus on me for now and I don't feel bad for that. So to answer your question: No, I haven't told ANYBODY. Obviously with the exception of my TMS therapist and everyone on this site haha.
 
giantsfan said:
Funny, I did day 16 yesterday too! Day 17 SEP today. I started taking more days off of doing the SEP as it was starting to stress me out a bit (my perfectionism/ocd).

I know TMS is the reason for my pain, but in the past I had tried soooo many different therapies and doctors that my family and friends were aware of, that now I fear that they'll just think this is just another one of my supposed "this is finally it, answers".

I also don't want to put more pressure on myself to get better to prove to them or show them that this is it and that it could help them too. I just want to focus on me for now and I don't feel bad for that. So to answer your question: No, I haven't told ANYBODY. Obviously with the exception of my TMS therapist and everyone on this site haha.
Click to expand...
 
It's okay to take a break in the SEProgram. No one is rushing you. If you feel stressed from it, maybe from the journaling part, take a day or two off, but try not to take long breaks. It also can be a good idea not to spend more than half an hour on each day's activity. Then get on with your life and try to enjoy each day.
 
I went from being in a wheelchair to walking normally again, after a 2year vicious bout of TMS- based foot pain. So I had a LOT of people asking how I got better. I kept it simple, saying that much of the pain had been a response to stress. Most people can relate to that. For those who were truly interested, I shared a bit more--TMS or MBS. It's a judgment call. But I was so grateful to be able to walk again, that I really didn't care if people thought I was crazy. I had results!!
 
giantsfan said:
Funny, I did day 16 yesterday too! Day 17 SEP today. I started taking more days off of doing the SEP as it was starting to stress me out a bit (my perfectionism/ocd).

I know TMS is the reason for my pain, but in the past I had tried soooo many different therapies and doctors that my family and friends were aware of, that now I fear that they'll just think this is just another one of my supposed "this is finally it, answers".

I also don't want to put more pressure on myself to get better to prove to them or show them that this is it and that it could help them too. I just want to focus on me for now and I don't feel bad for that. So to answer your question: No, I haven't told ANYBODY. Obviously with the exception of my TMS therapist and everyone on this site haha.
Click to expand...

I hear you about your fear of others thinking it's just another "this is finally it" answers. It's so funny that I would talk about my visible health problems and treatments to anyone who asked or listened, but not this. Well, good for you for focusing on yourself, that is one thing I am still working on. You are lucky to have a TMS therapist. Thank God for this forum!!
 
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