I think @Baseball65 said something in a separate thread about giving someone an ear full and feeling bad about it, but not having pain as a result of having expressed his anger (sorry if I'm not paraphrasing accurately). This brought to mind something I struggle with. In my 12-year journey, I've known for the past 9.5 yeas that my pain is due to emotions, but I still have not been able to shed all my physical pain. I've spent many hours contemplating what is holding me back. What comes up (among other things) are the emotions associated with having been molested as a child: anger, shame, fear, etc. I've written hundreds of thousands of words to help me process this and in doing so I pulled together a memoir. I felt compelled to write it. Almost possessed. But to what end? I tell myself it's to tell my story, in hopes that it could help others struggling--with chronic pain, or surviving incest. I want to give the mindbody connection another voice. I want to bring incest out of the closet. But is simply just having written it enough? To have purged all my thoughts; to have pieced together a story I couldn't understand at first. Why do I feel compelled to publish? Do I secretly want to punish my perpetrator? Is it fair of me to do that, even if I can justify other benefits of publishing it? Will finally publishing my memoir be the final step in letting go? When I published my website, I had a layer of pain slough off. Will the memoir take care of the rest? Or will it just cause me more stress about worrying what it would do to others? I'm stuck. (Haha, that's the word I always use about where I am with my chronic pain--I seem to be stuck at this particular point--I'm better than I was [have less pain] but I'm still not all better.) But every time I get closer and closer to thinking about publishing it I think of how I might hurt others. I've thought about using a pseudonym, but I still keep coming back to not wanting to have to hide anymore. I held this secret in my body for 32 years and it's a major contributor to my physical pain. How do we let go of this stuff (in my case I feel like sharing my story will help me let go) if we are afraid of hurting others? Or if we do act, will the consequences be worse? Don't know if I'm making sense, but I currently have my manuscript with an editor and am seriously considering publishing it, but I'm still haunted by the same questions. Should I really do this?? Just wondering if anyone has something similar to share as I grapple. Thanks in advance!