Day 27 DISGUST

I saw this week a video of Joshua Boom about quantum healing.
While watching this video I got palpitations, headache collywobbles. and nausea.
I ask myself what was happening, but I didn't find an answer.
I stopped watching this video and all the symptoms went away. I was directly normal again.

This reminds me of something that happened about 10 years ago.
One night I was alone at home I became very ill.
About 20.00 hours I got palpitations and became very afraid of it.
I was afraid of going down. I sat down and try to relax.
Then my belly started to rumble and I also had the feeling to throw up.
After a while I crawled to the toilet and it all game out.
While I was puking I did it in my pants.
I had cleaned myself and then it started again. I felt so dirty.
I was so afraid, afraid of going to die all alone.
But on the other side I was glad to be alone, because I look like hell.
I sweated like a pig, was deathly pale and full of shit.
This took about 4 hours, then I felt release and after cleaning myself I went to bed.
When my boyfriend came home I told him what was happened.
I did not told him the reason, because I was very ashamed.

The reason:
About 20 years ago I had a very violent relation which lasted four weeks.
It was the greatest relation I ever had.
After 4 weeks he decided to go back to his wife to completed his marriage. (he is still completing his mariage)
I totaly collapsed, suffered a severe depression. From everything to nothing.
He sometimes came by to see how I was doing and then we had sex.

In the meantime I had a new friend and I don't wanted sex anymore with my ex.
But he still keeps coming.
So, 10 years ago my ex came by and we kissed. I disgusted him.
This was in the afternoon, that evening I became ill.
I felt very guilty to my boyfriend.

I have the feeling that the symptoms I had that night originate of DISGUST.
I was so disgusted by the situation, by my ex that I threw everything out.

Was the video of Joshua Bloom a trigger?

The more I write of read or watch videos, the more I can release.

With love, Rozie.

 

Sometimes we need to get to an extreme emotion like disgust in order to spur action. Congratulations on having the courage to change your life.

I now have a new favorite word: "collywobbles"

 

Thanks Ellen.

The word "collywobbles" comes from Google Translate. Rumble in de belly? Is that better?

 

Rozie,

I find your candour totally refreshing. Thanks for sharing this very powerful experience.

Plum x

 

WOW THANK YOU VERY MUCH PLUM