Diong Absolutely Nothing

Doing Absolutely Nothing – Summer 2015

I felt battered after two weeks of windsurfing at Sherman Island and decided to take a break. The winds the previous day had been particularly good and I felt an aura of accomplishment.

I sat for an hour on a carpeted make-shift bench mindful of the waves and wavering Tule reeds. I watched the windsurfers and resisted the urge to join them, instead recollecting with pleasure my previous day’s excitement. I relived the joy of the sail flickering and the plumes of white wash streaming from the stern. I had played with a rainbow that had formed behind me, as it chased me across the river.

An hour became two then drifted into the whole day. “What a waste of time”, I thought, choosing to sit instead of windsurfing. I reversed this thought and continued to laze. I had given myself permission to sit. While sitting I reflected my type-A personality in everything I do, highly tuned, always occupied, so sitting for this length was a new experience for me.

Day two passed and then three. My brain seemed to slow down and become soggy; the wind in my ears dispelled all thoughts of man-made concepts. I noticed that I was surrounded by nature, no straight lines or uniformity. My brain sogged even more as I became pain free. My arthritic neck and back soothed, muscles relaxed and body tension sunk to an all time low. I clung to a wave of happiness just being me; conflict free for the first time in 50 years.

I imagined myself sitting around the central fountain of one of those Mediterranean villages. I am old like my companions. I sit contented, happy in the warm sun proudly clasping a cane with two hands. I am thankful for days passed, I am now sedentary, my youthful vigor diminished. I no longer fear death like I used to and sit mindfully thinking about nothing, a pleasant enough pastime, the very opposite of 90 years of active life.

I believe the two tensions within us work in parallel, physical and mental. Physical activity and exercise stretch and contract our muscles, our brain controls this mechanism. When my brain became soggy, my body followed suit. So have I been tense for 50 years? The answer appears to be “Yes”, since TMS tension clings to the stresses and trials of life that we all have at some level.

In a worry free retirement environment I am sure my TMS issues are driven by my personality, that of a perfectionist, worrier, artistic designer filling every minute of every day doing something - never sitting still!

So whatever you want to call it: “mindfulness, mindlessness or just plain brain sogginess”, I recommend forgetting those pin numbers, face book posts, the things you like, the things you hate, sit on a bench and do absolutely nothing.

 

Someone is seeing it. Andy is this yours? TMS stems from a mental strain born of conflict, as Horney said in her "tyranny of the should." Meditation eases conflict through surrender. The answer has always been to seek inner peace and to ignore the bullying ego. But it takes courage to let go.

Should this be titled "summer 2017?" Or is it an earlier piece? I couldn't have said it better than this, even though I preach this with everyone I work with in healing. Those who understand what is written here do far better. But the response is always the same, "how can I do such things when I have kids, a job, and deadlines?" The answer is always the same, as well.

Great post, thank for sharing
SteveO

 

Hi Steve,

Yes its mine, I wrote this last week on a windsurfing trip to Sherman Island. The event took place in 2015, and kept popping into my head since then. The “tyranny of the should” eventually won and made me write it. The event for me was so rare and I wanted to capture it in writing, as in “did it really happen”. Thank you for your comments; I went deep and a little flowery, so much so my wife even liked it.

My parents used to live in a Spanish village called La Herradura, and the reference to the old men in the Mediterranean comes from guilt, since I used to be critical of old people sitting doing nothing.

I have been retired since 2011 and with this come the good Drs. “years of irresponsibility”, have mellowed substantially, my finances are run by four excel files that rarely look at, and took six months to remodel our kitchen - no budget, no timeframe, no stress.

Windsurfing is brutal on my body, I have mellowed with this as well and try to balance my addiction with common sense, I often get into trouble since my weight has dropped to 140 lbs and I have no muscles. A wise old windsurfer of 80 recently told me that our bodies repair mechanism slows after the age of 60, no wonder I feel pain windsurfing 24 days straight.

Life is good, retirement better

Andy

 

I like this because in the beginning of TMS healing everyone says to move and exercise. Ignore the pain. That felt wrong for me. I chose to be really lazy. Sometimes doing nothing is the best but I would never have allowed that for myself before learning about TMS.

 

Sometimes (oftentimes) huge swathes of nothing is just the tonic. Someone once said to me "When in doubt, do nowt". I rather like that in a world so fizzy and frenzied with it's self-generated noise and motion. But then I am a self-confessed idler who likes to daydream.

 

Remember that it is the "fear of movement" that you have to get over, it's not just about moving for movement's sake. Dr. Sarno advised to become more physical to break the conditioned response to movement. If you lay around and feel better you are still not healed if you are afraid to move, or live. Healing is more than getting rid of symptoms.

Idle is best in the long run because we are trying to get to fuller consciousness which can't be done when conflicted or otherwise engaged. TMS also stems from over stimulation to the nervous system and mental strain. So allowing the para-side to take over is a good tool, but it's all for naught if the thinking never changes, the letting go, the surrendering.

Downtime can be the worst thing for health if it is used for beating self up and thinking. Andy yielded here to everything and overcame. It's a great example of how to disengage from the tyrannical should, and to get a good tan.

SteveO

 

Great post. I slept 12 hours last night and have no plans to work out today. I taught 6 classes and worked another 40 hours at my day job. I was pooped! Today I'm spending time with my family and our animals and doing a little light housework.