Hi Tom,
I like the idea's you mentioned in terms of dealing with stuff : but these are all things that are "outside" me : my boss ( if I had one

) my husband,
astroids, etc etc.. you can tell them to piss off , leaf : you are right about that . But this is all fine when it comes to stress that comes from others
My stress is from myself, from the situation i have gotten into since i have pain an live with a lot of limitations.
cannot divorce myself

can tell myself to piss off : does not help so far
that what i noticed a lot since working on the tms stuff , and reading here, and reading 'the books" it is mostly about : stress from childhood
stress from outsite situations, stress from personality traits : i can also relate to that , But:
my biggest stress now is the stress that came into my life because of this debilitating pain
and all the adjustments i have had to make in the last couple of years
i feel quilty (although have very supportive husband, who never complains and is great ) for not being able te walk te dog, him have to drive me to every appointment etc
having to do the shopping and this is all going on for +3 years. and not knowing if i ever will be able to.
and believe me i do what i can , have made all sorts of crazy adjustments. (cooking on a chair.. sitting under the shower : there is no
part of life that has not changed!!) today i have stress for all sorts of social meetings : i am stressing : is there a chair so i can sit soon, how far do i have to walk ? is it 'do-able" to go there etc etc
so when i meet with a friend nowadays : i stress over stuff that is directly caused by the pain and the concequentes they bring
so : good to know what to do with stress that comes from the outside world: but this is stress from my situation because of pain!
And i think a lot of people here must feel that way : there is your personality but there is also the situation your pain has got you in to
karina