The last few weeks, I have just decided to NOT let my TMS get in the way of my career, photography. I'm saying yes to jobs I wouldn't have before, jobs I would have turned down from fear of physically hurting myself. I just somehow in my mind, DECIDED with all my inner strength, to keep doing what I love, which is photography. I make a living at this. I can't let my TMS get in my way. Only one problem, it is. And specifically, my TMS tends to go to the very area that I "need" for my work. My upper back, shoulders, neck. I recently yelled at my back and neck, and said, "No matter how bad you get, even if you cripple me, I'm never going to give up photography." Within a few hours, the pain intensified. I said again, "No. I don't believe you. You are not real. This is coming from my brain". It intensified and I became enraged at it and said, "NO! F**K YOU! I'M DONE WITH YOU". Hour passes, pain GOES AWAY and becomes acid reflux and stomach ache/IBS, my #1 symptom substitution. I took some over the counter meds for my gut, cleaned up my diet for a few days, and the pain went right back to my neck. I want to "give my back pain hell" as I've heard Dr. Sarno say, but perhaps that is the wrong way to go about it? I would love to hear some affirmations that aren't so "tough love". I think "tough love" isn't the direction for me. My parents were very kind, loving and generous. Tough love wasn't part of my DNA. Love was. I'll add this...some part of me is CONVINCED that my pain is physical. I am pretty inactive, save for photography. 45 years old, never really exercised, very mental and obsessive (in my mind a lot since childhood, NEVER in my body) and now, I feel like I need to "get in shape". But whenever I do the slightest exercise, my TMS acts up. ESPECIALLY any kind of exercise that targets the very areas that need to get strong, my neck, upper back and shoulders. I can walk and not get any pain, but if I do even just 10 push ups or such, my upper back is a DISASTER and I think, "See, I really DO have something wrong!", despite a TMS doc (Schechter) telling me I have "TMS on steroids, no structural issues". When I am ACTUALLY shooting, I have little to no pain. But right after a photo shoot and right before, PAIN. This pain after shooting feels awful, disheartening, discouraging, and ENRAGING. I would think that if I had structural damage, I couldn't shoot at all. Yes? Help.