Hi, Steve.
I've never been on Lexapro but years ago had enough anxiety and depression that I was on Librium for 3 years.
It helped me get a new job and drag my ass to it as often as I could while hating the big insurance company I worked for.
I finally quit and found I didn't need the Librium any more.
Now is not a good time to quit a job, so I suggest you find ways to enjoy your life evenings and weekends.
Have you done the Structured Educational Program, free in the subforum at this web site?
It can help you discover and come to terms with repressed emotions that cause pain and lack of energy.
I'm 84 and am glad I have enough energy every day to lift a can or beer or glass of wine and pet my darling dog.
My dad died when I was 21 and he was only 52. I don't remember he ever hugged me or showed any sign he loved me,
but I still miss him nonetheless. I try to remember the good times... playing softball together on picnics. Funny,
but that's about all I can remember of him. He used to put me down in front of his beer-drinking friends and
I still don't know why. I was always a good boy, never in trouble. Oh well, that's long past.
Try living more in the present, not the past or the future. Or be confident that your future is going to be great...
happy and pain free. Then it will.