Hello, This is my first post...I've dealt with on again/off again tms for 20 years, fortunately mostly off but lately it's been real bad and exceptionally persistent and I'm hoping somebody here can offer me any kind of advice to help...there are no TMS doctors in my area I've even been able to find so I've always dealt with this on my own and that's worked OK until recently, I was hoping to post in the Ask a TMS Therapist section but I didn't have the posting privileges so I guess I'll try here. I had a sports injury at 16, herniated lumbar disc with subsequent sciatic pain, I beat that with p.t. but the pain would come back intermittently over the years and eventually I discovered sarno's book and never really had much issue again. Occasionally I'd have a recurrence of sciatic pain, but I never concerned myself too much over it, it would generally be pretty mild and would go away on it's own, I just decided I wouldn't alter my activities in any way and it would eventually be fine. This time has been different though, a little over a month ago I threw my back out lifting weights. This happens every now and then, and I never worry too much, it's all muscle pain, I just rest it for a few days and it's fine but this time it was real bad. I took some time away from the gym, came back a week later, and hurt it worse. Took another week off, then went back to work - I have a physical job with lots of walking around and lifting stuff, and it got even worse. It started out as entirely muscular issues, spasms, seizing up, etc., and I had very limited range of motion. Eventually all the muscle/range of motion problems cleared up but then it morphed into basically the worst sciatica I've ever experienced, it was so bad for a while I couldn't walk or even stand for longer than a couple minutes. I was limping, constantly having to take breaks from walking to sit down or crouch, taking loads of anti-inflammatories hoping it would calm down - I know giving the physical element weight in theory just feeds the strategy but it was so painful I didn't really have any recourse but to subject myself to it, anything that offered even mild relieve I just had to do. I grew very concerned because I've always had sciatica on and off but it's never been more than a nuisance and this time it's been debilitating, when it would hit it was like a shot to the kidneys, it just dropped me in my tracks wherever I was. I've been taking it easy at home the last week, reading up on dealing with the pain strategy for the umpteenth time, desperately trying to convince myself it's psychological but it just won't take. It's been a little better since I haven't been going to the gym or to work. I know that if it is pure TMS this line of thinking is just feeding the beast, but I just can't shake the feeling I might have done some actual physical damage this time, I can't stand up straight half the time, my spine just won't straighten all the way and I find that very disconcerting. I do have some psychological factors that could be at play, a few big life changes that have happened recently as well as a few major decisions coming up, so anxiety about all that could definitely be an element at play...but it's also never been this severe or physically incapacitating either so I really don't know what to think, kind of in uncharted waters...anybody have any similar experiences at any point? Any bits of advice or new strategies to offer?