Well okay, then @cet
! Welcome back, and remember, we are here to support your journey, especially when it gets tough and you feel like you want to quit. That's when you have to fight back and ask for encouragement to stay the course.
Be sure to re-read
@Cactusflower's first response to you way above, about effectively doing the SEP.
And as far as listening goes, let's see... you do want to see if you can learn to listen to the irrational negative messages in your brain, so that you can then talk back to it with rational and constructive messages.
In my opinion, this is one of the first skills to learn - and it's not easy when your brain is creating symptoms, because the whole point of TMS symptoms is to force you into fight-flight-freeze mode, right? You cannot rationally talk back to your brain when it's got you in panic mode, so
the first step is to get out of panic mode - and all you need to do for that is to breathe.
If you've never practiced therapeutic breathing, just look it up, there are tons of good resources on the web - pick the ones from educational sources to avoid ads and click-bait.
Once you're breathing deeply and calmly,
the second step is to identify the negative messages underneath the panic. Turn your focus inwards to the fearful thoughts that are unconsciously filling up your brain with a bunch of negative chatter, swirling around like a cage of squirrels. There will be a lot of "what if..." thoughts, among others, which are pretty easy to identify. "What if this feeling (whatever symptom) gets worse?" "What if I have to leave work, or miss an event" "What if I'm stuck somewhere with this symptom and can't get help?" "What if I embarrass myself?" "What if this symptom never goes away?" "What if I end up alone because of this symptom?" - and so on and so on, endlessly.
Once you've identified and really heard this negative messaging,
the third step is to talk back to your fearful brain - with compassion. What I literally say to my brain, usually out loud, is something along the lines of "
Thank you, brain, for trying to protect me, but I'm really quite safe! There is no physical danger here, and these thoughts, and these symptoms, are really not necessary"
You can also write down your
constructive and calming message on whatever piece of paper is handy. Writing or speaking out loud are powerful, because they interrupt the internal chatter.
To summarize: the three steps for effectively doing this work are: Stop, Breathe, Talk Back. Repeat as needed.
Note that I am characterizing your counter-message as "constructive and calming" rather than "positive". The reason for this is that you have to watch out for what I call "false happy-face" affirmations. These are an attempt to cover up negativity with cheerful, happy, positive messages. False positivity is actually just a form of emotional repression. Mental health professionals do not engage in it, because they know that facing and acknowledging your negative thoughts and emotions is the only way to eliminate the power they hold over you. Calmly telling your brain that the fear messages are "not necessary" is
truthful - and it's also
constructive because when you can start eliminating the negative chatter, you've achieved a true positive outcome.
Good luck!
~Jan
