Day three, dwelling on things

I have a lot of motivation to stick with the program and really work on recovering. But I have to overcome two habits on mind: one, I think I already know everything I'm supposed to be uncovering from the past and I have felt those feelings, there's nothing new here. Second, what good does it do to dwell on things? I know people who are constantly carrying on about the injustices of their childhoods at boring lengths and I think, move on, don't live in that aggrieved place.

But I have a lot of regret that I can't seem to shake . . and shame and rage at getting older. This was not supposed to happen!

 

Hi there, yes I agree fully, once you've explored the past there is no reason to dwell on past events. However, since our past experiences shape us and give us the very emotions that effect us in later life, we almost need to carry out some emotional work, looking at past and current traits and identify any patterns in behaviour.

We can then adapt various methods, such as mindfulness meditation and being mindful to break these very emotions of fear, regret, worry - after all, they serve no real purpose.

Best regards

 

Mike is right on, Nellie.

And I didn't even have any injustices in my childhood, but through a combination of writing and listening and meditation I was able to experience myself as a very young little girl, who I discovered was rather lonely and who felt awkward and isolated in spite of having a secure and loving family. How I became that way is something I can only guess at, but the important thing is that I was able to experience that old isolation and give my younger child the extra comfort and reassurance that apparently I didn't receive from my mother. It's hard to explain why this was so powerful but somehow it opened something in me, allowing me to love myself and forgive myself in a way that hadn't happened before. Clearly this was a set of emotions that had been repressed for a long long time.

 

Thank you. I'm scared to say this but my pain has receded. Of course I hoped that it would but I thought I'd have to do much more work before that happened. I understand that it may come and go, but still . . . I walked all over yesterday and my feet got tired but no searing pain. A miracle!

 

A "miracle" indeed. I am so happy happy for you!!

Andy B

 

That's awesome news for Nellimaud - and don't doubt that you can resolve the pain that quickly! I went from almost totally debilitated to pain-free running in just around a week.

I'm a TMS success story, and also a TMS newbie - I'm dealing with spasmodic dysphonia now (a likely equivalent of TMS) almost 15 years after having successfully resolved back pain, and having to go through the whole process of again of trying to convince myself of the real root of the problem. Strange how effective the brain is in keeping us focused on the physical symptom....