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Day one

A

abuglet

New Member
I have had Si-joint torsion/dysfunction since 18 April, when I had my first back spasm when I was asleep. It has seemed very strange to me that such disability could come to me in my sleep, without any previous physical movement. I had been under great stress at work previously, seeing my workload vastly increase, and have a tendency at workaholism, so reading Sarno's book really resonated with me...I have the same trigger points, the personality characteristics that he describes, so I fit the profile to a T. I am really angry with management at work at what they are doing to me and my colleagues, yet I always tend to go along to get along....hmmmm.

At the moment, I am seeing an osteopath on the NHS's dime, who has done two adjustments....I admit that I do feel better, but when I ask what I should do in the week in between appointments, she says nothing, let the joint adjust itself. But if the joint were twisted before I was in pain, why I am in pain now? Or, did it spontaneously twist? That seems weird to me...it just does not ring true. I also notice that on my pain free days about every other day now, my pain is replaced by anxiety, crippling anxiety. I have trouble sitting at the moment, so I am afraid when summer holiday is over, I might lose my job, which I am starting to wonder if I really want anymore anyhow. When I conquer the anxiety, then the pain subsides a little only to come back. It is very strange. Comments appreciated.
 
Hi abuglet,

Welcome to the SEP and to the path of recovery. I am on my final two days of the program and I can say with complete confidence that I am a changed man. I started after 6 months of nasty low-back/butt/leg pain, could hardly walk, stand, etc. was in physical therapy, chiropractor, acupuncture, pain medications, etc.. the usual. My MRI showed 3 disk bulges/herniations touching nerves, so that is what I believe it to be....that is until I read Dr. Sarno and found this site.

I encourage you to really get involved, follow the instructions, do the journaling, take time to read all the suggested readings, and watch the videos. I'd say I'm 95% cured. There is still some very light lingering "annoyance", but I still have some work to do. I've been walking miles with hardly any pain these last few weeks. But even more, if the pain comes on now, it just doesn't bother me like it used to, I sorta just see it, acknowledge it, and go about my business. It took working the program to get to that point, but 6 weeks compared to 6 months is nothing! I made more progress in the first week than I did from two months of PT!!! It's going to challenge you and your "beliefs" in medicine, but you have nothing to lose. We generally wind up here when all else fails.

Dr. Sarno encourages us to resume life as normal, i.e. stop ALL "therapies" (PT, chiro, etc.), stop taking medications, and most importantly, stop thinking STRUCTURAL problems are the cause of your pain and shift to psychological as the reason..... this can be difficult and takes some time to sink in because it challenges everything you've believed about your pain, so be patient and kind to yourself.

It was a process for me. A few of the bigger moves in my case were: I ripped up and threw out my MRI test results (I found myself obsessively reading over them and comparing them to other results I could find on the web and even here on the TMSwiki site...); I got back to the gym and stopped using a weight belt; and I even cancelled an appointment I had made with a TMS doctor because it was more than a month away and it was hindering my recovery (that is, my 100% belief in TMS was lagging because I had this pending appointment, but as soon as I cancelled it, my recovery sped up significantly). Everyone's journey is unique to their situation, but I've found that really committing to the program and brining what I learn from it into my daily life has had profound results. Also, sharing along the way here in these forums has been extremely helpful - there's something about knowing that you're not alone in your TMS recovery that really helps. I encourage you to look through my past posts for some insight into my experience with SEP. Like I said, I'm just now finishing, tomorrow is my final day, and I feel like a changed person. It's amazing. And I feel as though it is something that one carries on with, not just like a one time 6 week thing and that's that...it has helped me to get to know myself and taught me tools to "deal" with my emotions. Learning and accepting TMS is a life changer for sure.

Good luck and I hope to hear from you along the way!

Best,

Kev
 
Hi, abuglet.

Kevin has given you the best advice. He is a wonderful example of how the SEP heals TMS pain.
I hope everyone reads it.

You need to work more on relieving anxiety. It comes from relaxation, meditation.
There are some excellent videos on YouTube for those subjects, and also for anxiety.

You are not alone having problems with bosses who overload us with work.
I learned not to let my book publisher boss stress me out by not jumping as fast or high when he wants work from me.
I work at my own pace, which is better and faster than most people. He has gotten used to it.
 
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