ok, so my biggest hurdle in my pelvic pain is not so much pain while doing things, but rather, the pain that destroys me hours or a day later. Let me point out that i have indeed made some strides in mind/body work when it comes to exercise in the sense that slowly working my way into, lets say, bike riding (yes, i bike ride with pudendal neuralgia and pelvic floor pain) and trying not to have fear before and after has indeed made a difference, but only sometimes, and after close to a year, i'm still not where i want to be. Without going into graphic detail, anyone with pelvic pain knows that this disease plays a devastating role on your romantic life, however, i refuse to let it destroy it, so i force myself into doing things and pay for it dearly later. This is the sad reality of a lot of women with things like vulvodynia, IC, etc. I'm sitting here in horrific pain and as usual, i am pretty sure it's from what i did yesterday. As it always is. The main difference between now, and say, a year ago, is since i learned about TMS, is that i refuse to let fear stop me from doing things and let it run my life. I've gotten back into exercise. This has given me varying results. At first i got major flareup pain. Over time, by employing the "no fear, enthusiastic approach" the flareups became less, unless i overdid it. But still, why should it matter if i overdid it? I never overdo according to "other" parts of my body, i simply did it more than ONE time a week, and my nerve didnt like that. The rest of my body was ok with it. i WANT to do it. Every part of my being wants this, and i'm enthusiastic about it. I dont feel like i'm scared when i ride my bike more than normal (i'm happy, i'm ecstatic to be with my friends, to have my life back, etc.), but my nerve lets me know, "no, this isnt ok". However, when it comes to sexual activity, which by the way, has NEVER been pain-free my entire life, my pelvis completely revolts because, quite frankly, that's a pretty direct beating on the nerve, which is hypersensitive. I'm very very careful not to be scared before and after, so why the heck am i still getting flares every single time? If the "fear" is unconscious, well then, how can i control it? I've been aware of TMS for a while now and i know i have it. I feel like that should have gotten better since learning of TMS, but it has not. I have what some people call "primary" vulvodynia, which is when you've had it since you can remember. Since then, i've developed IC, and now PN. I dont want to develop avoidant behaviors because i'm afraid of pain later, because that seems counterproductive, but i can barely work today.