Lately I have been very critical of myself. The debilitating pain makes me believe that I am a terrible husband and father. It's all just part of the negative thought cycle. I have thoughts such as; I don't do enough around the house, my wife has to do everything (including working full time). Im useless, just a burden etc etc. I know I'm being overly critical but I still hate it
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Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
Day 9
- Thread starter beaum0
- Start date
Andy Bayliss
TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle
Hi beaumO,
Understanding my ongoing Inner Critic attacks helped me understand the truth of Dr. Sarno's theories, and led to my "cure." If you can imagine the Inner Child in these exchanges with the Inner Critic, this will help you (or at least it did for me) understand the intense feelings which "do not want to be felt." Working with the Inner Critic is a whole field of personal development, and leads to more freedom and ability to feel. For TMS work in the meantime, with your awareness, you can understand the true source of pain in your psychodynamics moment-to-moment. In a more general sense, Dr. Sarno said that "TMS'ers" tended to be very self-critical. So even this level of understanding gives you evidence of the real source of pain.
Andy B
Understanding my ongoing Inner Critic attacks helped me understand the truth of Dr. Sarno's theories, and led to my "cure." If you can imagine the Inner Child in these exchanges with the Inner Critic, this will help you (or at least it did for me) understand the intense feelings which "do not want to be felt." Working with the Inner Critic is a whole field of personal development, and leads to more freedom and ability to feel. For TMS work in the meantime, with your awareness, you can understand the true source of pain in your psychodynamics moment-to-moment. In a more general sense, Dr. Sarno said that "TMS'ers" tended to be very self-critical. So even this level of understanding gives you evidence of the real source of pain.
Andy B
Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)
Beloved Grand Eagle
Hi, BeaumO. Problem solved. You feel guilty about not being more of a help to your wife around the house. Most husbands are guilty of that. I suggest you surprise your wife, and yourself, by clearing the dishes off the dinner table and washing them, by hand in the sink or in the dishwasher. Then take out the vacuum cleaner and vacuum the living room carpet. You get the idea... Don't talk about it, just do it. With a smile, and maybe even a soft whistle or hum. If she comes up to you while you are doing anything to help her at home, maybe just give her a kiss.