Day 9 Day 9

Have you been overly critical of yourself lately? How and why have you done this? You can find a review on recognizing destructive behaviors, such as self-criticism, here. If you feel comfortable sharing, then post your response in a thread in our Structured Program forum. We would love to hear from you.

Reading about the review on recognising district behaviours on the wiki made me realise that I had been working really hard on pushing myself in 2014 so that I can get an additional professional certification that would actually reduce the number of hours that I had to work. I don't know if that was the cause of the pain. I do know that I was working from about 7 o'clock in the morning till 10 in the evening in wrong posture but it was with a lot of breaks and I did enjoy studying and working.

I was pushing myself with sentences similar to that on the wiki -like do this or else-for example, I made a promise to myself that unless I finish a particular lesson successfully I would not go to sleep.

This site lists it as abusive behaviour. But at the same time, I don't know how I could achieve whatever I did without pushing myself. Even in the armed forces, this kind of behaviour is common to make people tough so I'm a bit confused on this if it is really abusive. Nevertheless, for the past 1.5 years, I have not been working much so I hope that should compensate

another destructive behaviour that was obvious to me is catastrophizing. Typically it starts happening when I start planning for my finances. So I go like this, month 1 savings left is equal to X, month to-savings left is equal to y and then I start calculating more and then suddenly I'm in a frenzy because I would run out of money and I start worrying what would happen then

what does catastrophically actually mean in this context? If I run out of money in 6 months, and I start worrying about it now is it catastophizig?


In any case, after several minutes of worrying, I bring myself back by telling me that just like last time I unexpectedly came out pain, maybe is this time also something will happen.

 

Hi, Browndog... Consider yourself very fortunate if you can even feel secure with six month's financial comfort. Most people are one pay check away from real problems. I'm one of them. I try to live in the present moment and not fear tomorrow.

You sound like you are catastropizing, worrying about the financial future. You're in a lot better financial shape than most of us.