Day 9 Day 9: So critical on myself

[Dakk]

I keep telling myself that I wasted a lot of my life and that I don’t have much life left. I think about my 20s in a toxic relationship, dropping out of college, and all the years I spent dealing with pain, and I feel like I missed out on so much. I’m also hard on myself about the surgery. I keep thinking that I should have waited and that I made the wrong decision, even though I was in 10/10 pain and desperate at the time.

I’ve always been a perfectionist, and I think that makes it worse. On bad pain days, I feel like I’m failing or not doing the program right. I also compare myself to those that don't have neck or back pain and feel like I’ll never be a true person anymore.

I think I do this because I’ve lived with anxiety my whole life and I’m always looking for what’s wrong, with my body and with myself. I’m trying to be kinder to myself and remember that I made the best decisions I could with what I knew at the time.

 

[Urbanjourney]

I know this may wash over you but hopefully it will slowly stick - my wife and I have a saying "The best is yet to come". It's easy to think of wasted time and running out of time (i've done lots of that this year) but right now, your best journey so far may be just starting.
At every stage in life, you have made the best choice you thought of at the time and it is easy to judge yourself in this world of comparison as not making the right decisions but right now, you are here in this forum and committed to the new knowledge - so a rewiring process has started in your brain and you need to give yourself credit for making that change. You also have an awareness of what you are doing so in my mind, that then allows you to move towards change. It may be slow but just know that every little step, no matter how tiny it seems is leading you towards a greater future.

 

[Dakk]

I know this may wash over you but hopefully it will slowly stick - my wife and I have a saying "The best is yet to come". It's easy to think of wasted time and running out of time (i've done lots of that this year) but right now, your best journey so far may be just starting.
At every stage in life, you have made the best choice you thought of at the time and it is easy to judge yourself in this world of comparison as not making the right decisions but right now, you are here in this forum and committed to the new knowledge - so a rewiring process has started in your brain and you need to give yourself credit for making that change. You also have an awareness of what you are doing so in my mind, that then allows you to move towards change. It may be slow but just know that every little step, no matter how tiny it seems is leading you towards a greater future.

Thank you, I need to adopt this mindset.

 

[Margot!!]

I get stuck in that sometimes, all the years I wasted. We can't do anything about what has already happened, but we CAN plan for the life we want!! It's hard to stay out of the negative thinking patterns, especially when in pain. Self-compassion and patience with MYSELF is something I work on daily. This program is not for the faint of heart!! It takes alot of courage and bravery to look at the things this program asks you to look at. Everyone who choses this path is courageous, this is not an easy path. You are doing awesome <3