I started on the SEP more than a month ago, did a couple of days, had houseguests for a week, got distracted, felt pretty good, thought maybe I didn't need to do the SEP after all. Then Wham! Major setback pain-wise. Okay, so maybe I should do the SEP after all. Today I am on Day 9. I'm liking the journaling. I'm a writer, so the idea of journaling isn't anything new to me, although when I've journaled in the past, I've kept it pretty light. There were places I just wouldn't go. Lots of them. Places I am now visiting frequently. And I feel like I am churning up a lot of emotions and remembrances of pain and shame and grief. My pain has actually gotten worse. The only difference between now and before I started this TMS healing journey is that before I would have been in bed, feeling awfully sorry for myself, and dreading to but wondering if I should see another doctor. Or maybe I should try yet another alternative healing modality. Now I realize the pain is TMS and that it is caused by my subconscious that is trying to distract me from dealing with all this emotional crud. The journaling is really amazing, actually. It takes me places I didn't think of going when I started at the top of a blank page. It makes connections between things that happened when I was 5 (awfully mean 1st grade teacher) and when I went off to college at 17 and rebelled against all I had been raised to be. Journaling shows me how, when I respond today, as an adult of mature years, with hurt at having someone cancel a get-together that I am really responding as the 5 year old who was left out of a class art activity because the teacher was punishing me for something that is now lost to my memory. It's flipping astonishing what journaling will do for you. I'm in pain now, but it is abating and I know the TMS path I am on is going to get me through this safely. Peace. Cricket.