Day 8

I have been doing very well but had a bit of a relapse today even though I woke feeling pretty well...just mild pain that I started worrying about because I had gotten rid of that pain about 95% of the way. I guess I started thinking about it too much. I found the Day 7 video insightful. I think I need recovery from the TMS Recovery now. Ugh :/ I did find it funny though as this doesn't surprise me. I posted a comment under the video on You Tube but thought I would add it here:
"This is HILARIOUS because it is soo spot on & so me. I needed that laugh about this to put it in perspective. I was so caught up in the pain & trying different modalities, doing PT exercises, stretches, foam rolling, etc. at home before & NOW I am getting all these books & journaling & being concerned with learning how to let go that I am NOT letting go in reality. My pain isn't as bad anymore as most of the success stories. I was about 80% when I read Dr. Sarno's book a few weeks ago because I just haven't been able to get rid of the last bit for about 2 years now. So annoying & I was obsessed with it. Given that, I think I would benefit from a therapist. I can see a therapist with some great benefits on my husband's insurance but I am in San Antonio, TX so there isn't a TMS therapist...do you feel I may be wasting my time & really need a specific pro that knows about TMS? It can't hurt to try I guess because I get 5 free sessions...but I do want to heal emotionally & work on my perfectionism"

 

Stef, I think it would be great if you can talk to a TMS therapist, but if not, journaling could do as much or more than he or she could. You have to discover the emotional reasons why you have pain. That's what the SEP helps us do. But be patient. If you put a time clock on wanting to heal fast, it won't help and may just keep the pain going or make it worse. Everyone heals at their own pace.

A doctor or therapist can tell you that your pain is emotional, from TMS. But it's up to you to believe it 100 percent and to discover the emotions causingit. You admit to being a perfectionist. That may very well be the cause of your pain and not a repressed emotion. One of my very best friends was a super perfectionist and although he was the richest person I ever knew, he had back pain all his life. He didn't know about TMS and back then neither did I.
He thought it was from a college football injury. Nope. It was because his father abandoned him and his mother when he was a boy.

 

I do accept the diagnosis 100%. Dr. Schubiner also told me I have it just by reading my story...so that helped. I was about 90% there & then that helped me get all the way in accepting it (even though it still took me a couple of days to accept it). I am following this Structured Education Program so I hope seeing a therapist isn't too much. I just really wanted to talk to someone in person. I have an appointment tomorrow. I have figured out many of the emotional reasons (mostly my personality traits I think) I have pain but am not too sure what to do about them. I thought maybe someone else may help me figure out other reasons too. Aw heck, my perfectionism shows just here.
I still think I probably have nothing to lose going tomorrow & will have tried it & can put that to rest if I don't like it.