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Day 8

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dusty67

Peer Supporter
My progress to date has been mixed. It started off with a bang....significant reduction in pain which gave me great confidence in my TMS self diagnosis. I have backslid a little these last few days. Some of my old pains have returned....at times much stronger than before. I would say for the most part I am dealing with the "flare ups" somewhat better than I was before. There have still been some really rough patches but they seem to be a little more spaced out. I am really working on not trying to push my recovery, which is difficult as I had such a noticeable improvement right away and sometimes feel like Im back at square one. My mid/lower spine is still really painful if I press on it and still hurts me if I twist or bend the wrong way. I keep wondering if that pain is coming from the muscles due to decreased oxygen but when I do "hurt it" a lot of my leg burning and foot pain also comes back. That has really been the same pattern for the last year so my conditioned brain keeps thinking Im reinjuring something and then I second guess TMS. I keep referring to my evidence list and definitely notice that I am able to do a lot more than before. I would say the most impact this TMS discovery has had on me is that now I am trying something new every day and doing things I would not DARE to do a month ago for fear of pain or re-injury. It has given me back some normality to my life when I really couldn't imagine ever being able to function or do much of anything again. I cleaned out my pantry today all by myself which included lots of reaching, bending and lifting. I have more pain since doing it but sure feel a sense of accomplishment and success. I am going to have a piece of chocolate and celebrate! Ha! Im still struggling whether to go ahead with my Skype diagnosis or just keep going with the program and see how I do on my own. I can pretty well guarantee that I will pay $$ only to be told what I think I already know....I have TMS. My thought behind doing this would be that having a DEFINATE diagnosis from a TMS Dr would be the convincing that I need to eliminate any doubt. Then I have thoughts that maybe I would still have that tiny bit of doubt because I wasn't physically assessed maybe something was missed. Even though my own GP told me I don't need surgery and I have been dealt a chronic pain condition that no Dr can do anything about. As I re-read my own words its so obvious I have TMS...its the dang pain coming back and the fear creeping in that challenges my new found beliefs. Ok guess Im being hard on myself and stressing for no reason as usual. Time to go eat chocolate and watch a movie....looking forward to the pool tomorrow.....favorite part of the day :)
 
Hi, Dusty. Save your money and just keep believing in TMS. Buy some good dark chocolate and watch some good movies.
Swimming is great for TMS healing. Tell yourself positive mantras with every arm or leg paddle.

We all want someone in authority (a doctor or TMS authority) to tell us without a doubt that our pain is from TMS.
But it really takes ourself to believe that 100 percent. Your GP told you what you want to know. It's TMS.
Keep working to discover the repressed emotion(s) that are causing the pain.

Progress toward healing can be fast at first, then slow down, or be up one day and down the next.
It's all got to do with belief. Believe your pain is TMS and believe you will heal by TMS techniques.
 
Dusty I relate to this very much. How quickly I can forget how it feels when my symptoms DO lift. I don't know about you but I have had lifts where I am free of pain anywhere from 5 days to more like 11. Or have periods of time where I hardly feel it like it used to But when it hits hard - which it did this week -I can forget all about how it feels to be pain free. And I will start to question---does this Mindbody stuff really work?

I think it does. For me it really helps to remember WHEN the pain started again. What was I thinking about? etc. Ussually a fear that I am not going to say or do or be something perfectly.
 
Thank you so much Walt. I think you are right. I am really beginning to see a pattern with my pain levels. Yesterday was FANTASTIC. Best day I've had in a year....then I had an issue/conflict I had to deal with that got me upset/stressed and all that old familiar pain came back last night like a landslide....its still hanging around today but Im pushing on. I recognize it for what it is and it starts to lose some of its power over me. Thank you for all of your tips & advice!

Lexylucy I have only started this jourey a few weeks ago but the first 10 days or so I saw Huge changes in pain levels. Some days I barely noticed it. Yes I have that perfectionist in me as well (Im sure a lot of us do here Ha!) I have been using a bit of a mantra that is really helping...its something I read from Monte Hueftle's website.....Im not quoting him exactly but basically he says that success is not measured in the amount of pain you have after doing an activity but it is measured in how much you care. This rings so true with me. The less I seem to harp on my pain, all of a sudden I notice I've been running around doing laundry, dishes, cooking, shopping...all with NO PAIN!!! 3 weeks ago I was spending most of my day in bed...shuffling around like a 100 year old woman in fear of "re-injuring myself". Im really trying to work on mindfulness (mindful meditation). I find it really difficult but I can see with some practice it can keep those negative/anxiety ridden/judgemental/stress thoughts at bay. I keep bringing myself to the moment and only allowing myself to think about what Im doing at that exact minute. Especially when Im angry or stressed it takes my bloodpressure down a notch or two Ha! It turns off the voices in my head (not crazy voices Ha) Just that one negative voice we all have bouncing around in there creative havoc Best of luck to you on your Journey! :)
 
Thank you armchairlinguist yes this is what I was referring to. From Alan Gordon not Monte Hueftle (my bad) Outcome independence. It really resonates with me. I have been spending so much time checking in with my pain levels every time I do something I now see that I just keep feeding the fire. The more I say "I don't care anymore" and go about my day the more I'm realizing I'm having longer stretches pain free! It's amazing!
 
Thank you Walt. Yes Piece of Cake! I like that :) I still cant believe how quickly my pain levels decreased and started to get my life back. Everyone I see is amazed as I have been pretty much housebound for a year. I was seriously starting to think I was going to be disabled for the rest of my life and was in such a dark place. There were days I did not want to get up at all and just begged for it to be night again so I could go back to sleep. Now I've committed to going to see a favorite band of mine at the end of the month and also booked a trip to Europe this summer. Hallelujah! I can push on even with this burning in my legs and lower back....its just background noise to me now. I know I still have a ways to go to be really FREE of it but its so great to see a light at the end of the tunnel after so long. I want to shout Dr Sarno's name (and all other TMS doctors that I've learned from) from the rooftops. He is a lifesaver.....brilliant man! I will be writing him a very long letter of appreciation that's for sure! Thank you again Walt.
 
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