Day 8

Today I went out. I started walking and walking but I had to sit down on the chair or had to hold on to something every after almost two minutes no doubt if i look back few weeks back I hardly could move from my bed to the restroom. I can see it is taking long time which I am OK with I understand how everyone's journey is different. Trust me I think I have lot of courage and I am not scared of the pain I bend down to pick up stuff and I strongly believe that I have no structural problem. I try to journal every day and its been a week. At first when I came to know about this site I was on it 24/7 but now I am much calmer and just like to hear all success stories. I am kinda confuse now I am starting to look at my past and I hardly see anything that bothers me except just few minor things which I already wrote in my journals. I pretty much had a very good childhood and amazing parents and good hearted siblings yes and I do believe we had few ups and downs but not something that I ever took it serious except few things like for example since I am married I do miss my childhood years when we all used to live together I wish I can go in my past and just live with my parents Yes I do miss them a lot since they are old now and I think all the times about them. I cant see them often because they live out of country but whenever I talk to my parents things just depress me. I have a beautiful family of three young kids and my very supporting husband who loves me but I still dont understand what else is missing. I want to mention that I have a huge goodism trait I probably not a perfectionist but I like my things to be updated my home to be all cleaned up and if something comes in my mind I just have to have to finish it no matter what and for that I feel guilty now that I feel I DONT GIVE ENOUGH TIME TO MY KIDS. I am a huge stressor over things which now I think doesnt matter to me anymore. I have more time to think now and I pray to GOD to Plz plz give me one more chance and I will try my best to become a better person again who takes everyday tasks very lightly.

 

want to mention one thing since I was walking today and I had this pain just burning my leg (sciatica and its been almost 7 weeks). should I just move on and try to let my leg burn and burn with pain and just endure the pain or should just stop and rest. because I did not feel that the pain was lessening. anyone have any suggestion plz guide me what to do.

 

I walked thru my pain, I think you should try. If you know its not structural, then its TMS. If it gets too bad, stop. My sciatic pain was intense at first, but lessoned the more I walked. Good luck and take care.

 

Hi, ashoo. It' wonderful that you are walking again. To steady yourself maybe walk with a cane. There should be no guilt in that. If you don't want to use a cane, get a walking stick. British and Europeans use walking sticks even if they don't need one. I