1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
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Day 8, was healed now I'm back

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by cookie_777, Nov 10, 2016.

  1. cookie_777

    cookie_777 Peer Supporter

    Hey guys,

    So, I got better after about a week of educating myself. Then the pain came back. First, in my lower back. The muscles are so tight and it hurts to bend. It usually was a little tight but it feels like the pain escalated. Why is this happening? I am so tempted to think it is structural. I mean when you feel it you can see it is tight. Same for the neck and shoulders.

    As of now, my low back, my neck and shoulders. I need some advice though. Now that TMS is all created in my mind, I carried a really heavy back pack to challenge myself- today and yesterday, and I am in so much pain. Why? Its like I'm in even more pain.

    Feeling like my diagnoses is not as true as it was before. Struggling to get back on the wagon.
  2. BruceMC

    BruceMC Beloved Grand Eagle

    TMS will reassert itself periodically as you confront and ultimately overcome it. Rome wasn't built in a day. Sure, some people get better in the wink of an eye. But it's been my own experience that that is the rare exception. Just keep with the program. You don't say though, cookie, whether you were checked out by a conventional doctor to eliminate any doubts you may harbor about physical or structural causes for your pain? That's a necessary first step so that you can forge ahead with the SEP, sure that there's nothing really physically wrong with you. Of course, a really good way is to find a TMS doctor and have him or her diagnose you with TMS. But I'm assuming that you're just going through one of those periodic or cyclical bouts of recurrent pain that occur during the SEP. Seems like nearly everyone goes through that.
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  3. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Cookie. Bruce is right... Pain often returns or moves around as we progress to discover the emotions causing it. I, too, hope you will see a doctor to be certain there is nothing really structural causing your pain. But if something is found, don't let it worry you. It's normal to have some structural problems, and often they do not cause pain. As Dr. Sarno says, the pain is from our emotions or a perfectionist and goodist personality. Keep doing the SEProgram and I am confident you soon will be healthier and also happier than ever.
    mike2014, cookie_777 and BruceMC like this.
  4. cookie_777

    cookie_777 Peer Supporter

    I understand. I think the past few days have been extremely stressful, especially with the election results; and I am not even from this country but I am stressed! And I also, in one of my theater classes, had to direct a scene and the entire process was so stressful and I was trying to get everything to work out but in the end it just flopped and I was so disappointed in myself and the people I was working with and also constantly felt judged and criticised the entire time. Now I'm just feeling so lost as to my place in this country and we have so much school work I'm stressed. But the thing is, i know I'm stressed. I know, I am. So why am I in pain?
  5. cookie_777

    cookie_777 Peer Supporter


    I have been checked out and told it's scoliosis, and have done physiotherapy for the longest time including alternative methods but haven't gotten better. The pain also started at probably the lowest point of my life.
  6. Desi19

    Desi19 Newcomer

    I mean when you feel it you can see it is tight.
    Hi cookie!
    I will say this - although I am struggling with TMS foot pain right now, I beat TMS back pain. I had a bulge where my shoulder meets my neck for several months AFTER all the pain disappeared. It used to really bother me when I looked in the mirror because it was ugly! but also because it seemed to support the structural abnormality diagnosis. After just coming to accept that this might be my new normal - and not obsessing about the unevenness every time I looked in the mirror - one day I realized it had gone away completely and I never even noticed. hopefully this will be the same for you!
  7. BruceMC

    BruceMC Beloved Grand Eagle

    That's one of a myriad of structural excuses used as alibis when it's impossible to find anything really wrong. Problem is that some people have scoliosis and no pain to speak of. Others have pain but no scoliosis. That your pain started at "probably the lowest point of my life" is the clue. My TMS started shortly after my mother died and I inherited my family home where mom and dad had fought constantly and usually over me. Coincidences like that are the real sign posts to look for when self-diagnosing your TMS symptoms in the absence of an examination by a TMS physician.
  8. pspa

    pspa Well known member

  9. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    As someone who regularly gets herself (myself) into high-stress situations, my take on this is that you might be suffering from a huge load of negative input, due to your many sources of stress and pressure - whether they are from outside, or self-imposed. You also have virtually no time and thus no ability to truly and effectively counteract all of the negative messages.

    Another way of seeing this is that your brain is in constant fight-or-flight mode - meaning that your primitive fearful brain is in control, trying to make sure that you survive.

    If you were to write down all of your stresses on paper - ALL of them, as they pop into your head, whether you think they are important or not (this is really important) - perhaps you can go through the list and banish some of them - especially the self-imposed ones. Writing things down is one of the most powerful tools we have in this work, especially if we force ourselves to write down every single thing that comes into our heads, even if our unconscious brains want to convince us that we should ignore some of them. It's not just "stress" that you are dealing with, it's probably the stress of repressed emotions that is doing you in, but you're too busy with everyday stress to work on keeping the repressed stuff out in the open where you need to be able to acknowledge it.
    mike2014, Lady Phoenix and BruceMC like this.
  10. Lady Phoenix

    Lady Phoenix Peer Supporter

    Jan, I always learn something new from you. :)
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  11. cookie_777

    cookie_777 Peer Supporter

    Thank you, that does make a lot of sense. So do you think that means that means I can't get better until my current stressors are not a factor anymore, or is there a way of dealing with both consecutively? I did fill up my list; it's pretty long actually; I didn't know all those things were stressing me
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  12. cookie_777

    cookie_777 Peer Supporter

  13. cookie_777

    cookie_777 Peer Supporter

    Thanks Bruce. It's hard to work out through the conditioning of all the doctors that have looked at my XRAYS or MRIS and sounded so sure of themselves- you know? It's taking time and Iwant to believe 100%. Like today my neck was hurting and I immediately wanted to stretch it- then I thought to myself- what good will that do?Thank you for the response
  14. cookie_777

    cookie_777 Peer Supporter

    wow thats amazing!
  15. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    I wouldn't presume this at all, because each person's ability to get better is, I believe, based solely on your individual ability to make the necessary mind shift that completely changes your relationship with your symptoms, and with the repressed emotions causing the symptoms.

    Easy for me to say, yeah? And realistically, it's probably going to be harder when you're totally stressed out by all your outside factors. But I would never say that it can't be done. You do need to set aside time every day to do your SEP exercises, and perhaps keep reading different books, because that's where you're going to find the resources that resonate and work for you.

    But even if you can't do that every day, above all try not to judge yourself, and don't beat yourself up - instead try to love and accept yourself for where you're at right now. Have faith that you will find your way when you're ready.
    mike2014 likes this.

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