Day 8 inner bully

I wrote a letter to myself on day 8 exercise and I let myself have it. I don't even know who is bullying who in this conversation it seems it's my conscious mind doing it to my inner self. I felt compelled to write out the ways I have been a failure. Is this cathartic or damaging? I know it was close to raging but I don't think it's really l healthy to rage at yourself?

 

Boy I sure get angry at myself. Stll do. I hate feeling weak. i remember my Mother put her arm on my shoulder while standing at my baby brother's casket saying "we have to be strong". That has followed me all my life....be strong. Whoa......My TMS personality traits are so strong and out of whack. The need to be perfect to try to prevent rejection. The terrible deep insecurity deep in my gut.

We do need to be loving especially with ourselves but i do exactly what you are doing probably too much. But awareness is huge. You have it and so do I. Welcome to the program. It is an amazing ride of self discovery.

 

Hi, ladies. I'm reading the lives of Henry and Jane Fonda and she said her father was a great actor who could show emotion in his films but he was a cold fish stoic in real life. He told her that she had to be and look perfect or no one would love her. That advice ruined her for most of her life until she realized he was totally wrong about perfection. She came to realize that to be perfect is to be flawed and life is full of mistakes, but we learn from them. She learned to mellow in later life and said she is now happy as a senior citizen.

We are all rejected sometimes by some people. I just focus on those who accept me, warts and all. I have had fifty books published but none of my family or friends have read them. They like me for being me, not for my writing. I wish they liked me for being both a person and a writer, but know I can't have everything, and am just glad they like me.

Your family and friends like or love you for who you are, not for what you do.