Day 8- how to share with loved ones

[john_clifton]

It's clear that part of the solution to TMS is giving the pain less attention and care less about it. For so many years I've developed narratives around the pain and shared them enthusiastically with friends and family, which only further solidified the stories. Breaking out of them now I can feel the impulse to share this healing process with people that care about me because they know I've been struggling with this for so long, but I'm worried about hardening these stories as well- becoming attached to them. I want to find a balance between sharing information about this process with loved ones (and those who I think may benefit from engaging with this program themselves) and breaking these patterns that hare hardwired into my personality as they are also responsible for generating pain cycles.

How have you all balanced these factors in your journeys?

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi john,

but I'm worried about hardening these stories as well- becoming attached to them.

Can you clarify your question a little for me? Are you saying that your new TMS healing work, and your expression of it may also harden into stories? Or that your surity about this approach is part of the problem of personality? I'd like to understand your nuanced question!

andy

 

[Ellen]

If I understand your question, you're asking about balancing the desire to share the wonderful news of TMS and the possibility of complete recovery, with the fear of becoming overly attached to your personal story of pain as you tell others about TMS. I've worried about this, as well, from time to time. I think it is an important part of recovery to stop talking about your story of pain for the most part to avoid over-identifying with it. When I do recommend learning about TMS to someone, I try to keep my explanation of my own personal experience with it pretty general and brief. I just say something like "I had fibromyalgia for 20 years and migraines for 50 years and completely recovered by treating my symptoms as TMS. I can make some recommendations for videos, books, and podcasts if you are interested."

I wrote out a detailed success story that I've posted on this Forum, and refer people to that if they are interested in more specific information. I think this is a way to help others benefit from your experience, without getting involved in telling the specifics of your pain and recovery over and over.

I think everyone has to find this balance for themselves and it takes some trial and error. All errors can be corrected, so I wouldn't worry about it too much.

 

[john_clifton]

Hi john,



Can you clarify your question a little for me? Are you saying that your new TMS healing work, and your expression of it may also harden into stories? Or that your surity about this approach is part of the problem of personality? I'd like to understand your nuanced question!

andy

Thank you Ellen! This is definitely how I've been feeling.

Andy- both are parts to the challenge/question. It seems to me that personality characteristics influence how we create stories and narratives around pain, especially in our relationships with others and ourselves. I'm nervous about hardening these stories, and thus attachments to a narrative, in my own psyche via communicating it to others verbally, creating a feedback loop of sorts.