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Day 8 Game on!

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by LizzyBennet, Dec 4, 2016.

  1. LizzyBennet

    LizzyBennet New Member

    After having a day off (day 7) I inadvertently took three days off of journaling. I was "busy" but the truth is I just plain didn't want to do the work. Why write when I can watch "Jane the Virgin" or get ahead on some projects at work? I'm wondering, what is behind the procrastination. It's common for me to start something and then run out of steam. I get very excited, but then when I don't see the immediate results that I want to see, move on.

    I think the other part is a "fear" of change. I'm afraid to succeed.

    Also, the journaling is bringing up some emotions and issues that I'm having to work through which is hard. My husband and I had a big fight this week when I talked to him about hiding money. It was good though, because we got to the root of the issue, and we're working on it. It's hard to face your fears though. I've repressed them for a reason: they are damn uncomfortable!

    The truth will set you free though, so they say, so I will continue to plug on. Any advice that can help to stay the course when the work gets tough, or even monotonous (I don't want to journal right now, I want to sleep/work/play etc)?
     
  2. LizzyBennet

    LizzyBennet New Member

    Oh, and I'm writing my letter to "Perfectionism" today. It's time to say goodbye : )
     
  3. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Do less than you think you "should." Prepare to write. Write 5 minutes. If you want to write more, then do that.

    Alternative: Speak your journaling out loud to a chair or pillow (which you imagine as a good listening friend).

    Alternative: Don't journal. Just read and reread Dr. Sarno's work, and success stories.
     
    LizzyBennet likes this.
  4. LizzyBennet

    LizzyBennet New Member

    That's great advice Andy, less is more. You're right there is a big "should" hanging over my head when I sit down to to do the work. I want to do it "right" each time, which means devoting too much time to journaling. Thank's for the reminder. I don't have to do it perfectly!
     
  5. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yes, in fact it can be fun to practice imperfection intentionally!
     
  6. Mala

    Mala Well known member

    Lizzie congratulations on getting to day 8! I imagine there must be a lot of ppl out there who didn't make it even that far so give yrself a big pat on the back for that.

    As for procrastinating, I think we all procrastinate to a certain extent.

    We often procrastinate because the task at hand is not enjoyable. Journalling is not easy. It requires discipline. Also it brings up feelings about ourselves that perhaps we do not wish to confront & that can be scary & uncomfortable so we put off doing it.

    Journalling raises issues that we need to deal with that require change- maybe a change in our perception, in our way of dealing with certain ppl, a change in our environment or in a relationship & all this can be v scary.

    The more we get comfortable or ensconced in a situation or a way of thinking the harder it gets for us to change even when the situation or relationship is having a negative impact on our lives. Its just easier to 'stay put'.

    You can give yrself some off days from journalling like having cheat days on a diet. But maybe try not to lose the discipline or the momentum too much. Also promise yrself a reward or treat but only after u have accomplished the task.

    Change is spontaneous & inevitable, we need to change to evolve in order to progress. Sometimes it may not feel good but its necessary.

    I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better. -Georg C. Lichtenberg

    Good luck

    Mala
     
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2016
  7. LizzyBennet

    LizzyBennet New Member

    Wow Mala, that is some amazing advice! The fear of what issues journaling will bring up is probably one of my biggest obstacles in writing. The last big life event I wrote about brought up trust issues in our marriage, and now my husband and I are having to work through them. It is hard but also a relief. He has gone behind my back for 13 years and he's having to work to build my trust in him back up from ground zero.

    I've been reading this book, "The Untethered Soul", which is about spirituality, and one point it makes that I've been reminding myself of is this. That voice inside your head, that is constantly worrying, picking on you, and telling you to do better, is not of much consequence. Even if I was able to follow all of the neurotic suggestions that that little voice makes, it probably wouldn't change things much because I am only ONE small person in this big ol' world! I don't have to fret or try to "fix" things all of the time because one, that's not what I'm here for (we're here to love another and have fun) and two, the world exists outside of me. Regardless of what I do, it will pretty much continue doing what it was going to do anyway.

    This helps when I start to worry about my marriage, I say to myself, "I can only do what I can do, the rest is on my husband. He has choices to make and if he doesn't want to change himself, there is nothing I can do. I am not going to waste time or energy worrying about something that is not in my control." Then, I work to start thinking about something I want to think about!

    You are right about change, how it is spontaneous and inevitable. Some people choose devolution though, to continue in the direction that is harming them or others. I've been doing that for a long time. This program is turning me around though. I can feel it almost everyday.

    Thanks for all of your support and advice Mala,

    Lizzy
     
    georgethee likes this.

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